Imagine walking through life with a label stuck to your forehead. It might say ‘depressed’, ‘anxious’, ‘lazy’, ‘introvert’, ‘too much’, or ‘not enough’.

Everywhere you go, people see it. And slowly—quietly—you start to believe it. That label doesn’t just describe you. It begins to define you.

Today on I Love Me The Podcast, we’re exploring what it would mean to lose the labels we’ve placed on ourselves. Not just diagnoses like depression or ADHD, but all the identities, behaviours, and stories that have slowly boxed us in over time.

Because here’s the truth: You are not your label. And you never were.

So… let’s explore why labels can be both helpful and harmful, how to break free of them, and real-life examples of people—including myself—who chose to let go and reclaim their lives.

 

Simple, inspiring lessons in self-love, Hello gorgeous, it’s Tamra here.

When I was first diagnosed with depression, there was a strange relief in having a ‘name’ for what I was experiencing.

Finally, there was a reason for the unpredictable low moods, the exhaustion, the sense of being a burden.

In this way, a label can be comforting because it gives our suffering structure and validation.

We can point to it and say, ‘Ah, this is why I feel this way.’

Suddenly we feel seen, understood, less alone.

But here’s the catch:

If we cling too tightly to a label, it stops being something we experience…

And starts becoming who we are.

In this way…the relief slowly turns into a trap.

Depression. Anxiety. ADHD. Chronic fatigue.

They can quietly shift from being conditions we’re navigating, into identities we adopt.

And once that happens, healing becomes much harder.

This is backed up by a Turkish study done back in the 1940s.

It found that providing a psychiatric label resulted in a significantly higher perception of mental illness, more physical burden and a higher perception of the need for treatment.

Pretty interesting, right?

Imagine a teabag steeping in a cup of hot water.

At first, the water is clear.

But over time, it takes on the colour, flavour, and essence of the tea.

That’s how labels work.

The longer we leave them unattended, the more they saturate our lives.

Influencing how we walk, how we talk, how we hold our bodies, how we think.

Some teabags are stronger than others.

Some labels feel heavier, more consuming.

But here’s the good news:

You can remove the teabag.

And over time, you can dilute the water, so that it returns to its clear, original state.

The clear water, being who you are at your core.

The true you.

If you’re in one of my programs, you know I call this, your True Self.

Now this doesn’t only apply to a mental illness, or specific diagnosis…

Think about the child labeled ‘lazy’.

Over time, they stop trying—because why bother doing my homework, if that’s ‘who I am’?

Or the person labeled ‘a failure’ after one mistake at work.

They stop taking risks.

They stop learning.

Not because they can’t—but because the label tells them that’s not who they are.

Or the person who calls themselves an ‘introvert’.

They avoid social situations, leadership roles, visibility.

Those labels become self-fulfilling prophecies.

In each of these cases, the person involved started to believe something about themselves, that wasn’t actually true.

Then, they started to behave in a way that supported that new belief.

A person isn’t intrinsically lazy or poor or anxious…

Those things are simply behaviours.

And when these people begin to get encouragement from those around them, people seeing their potential instead of their perceived flaws…

Or when they work with a therapist, like myself, who can clear those beliefs they’ve taken on in error…

Something fascinating happens.

And I see this in my one-on-one work with clients all the time..

Self-proclaimed introverts, unable to speak in public, come to me — I was one of them — and after a few sessions of clearing out the beliefs behind that label, they start to feel confident in social settings, passionate about giving speeches…

The people who felt like a failure, step up.

They thrive.

Because that’s what was in them all along, and they were finally able to stop wearing a label that someone placed upon them.

This is where neuroplasticity comes in.

Modern neuroscience shows us that the brain is not fixed.
We are constantly rewiring ourselves through belief, experience, environment, and emotion.

Which brings me to the work of Dr. Gabor Maté (Gar-bor Mah-tay)

Gabor Maté speaks extensively about how many conditions—ADHD included—are not simply genetic defects, but adaptations to environment.

Not moral failures.

Not permanent flaws.

Adaptations.

Children don’t develop behaviours in a vacuum.

They respond to stress, attachment patterns, emotional safety—or the lack of it.

When we slap a label on a child and stop there, we risk missing the deeper question:

What is this behaviour protecting them from?

And when adults take on labels without question, we often stop exploring the environment—internal and external—that keeps those patterns alive.

If you’ve listened to Episode 32: Bye Bye Blues, I share how there were many environmental factors I needed to change, in order to overcome the depression.

In this way…

Labels only serve the present moment.

Once they stop you growing, changing, or questioning your circumstances, they begin to work against you.

Because ultimately…

Labels can remove self-responsibility.

This is the part that can feel confronting.

Labels can quietly remove responsibility—from ourselves, and sometimes from parents, systems, or environments that need to change.

They can become:

An excuse not to try a new approach, a new diet, or new friendship circle.

A reason not to explore alternative support.

A story that says, ‘This is just how it is’.

I was once told I would have depression for life.

That I’d need medication and therapy indefinitely.

But that wasn’t my reality.

Not because I ignored my experience—but because I questioned the label.

A coach once said to me, bluntly:

“You’re using the label as an excuse.”

Ouch.

But ultimately, she was right.

Depression had become a crutch.

It gave me permission to retreat.

To not fully engage.

To stay small.

To unload all my emotions onto other people, and then claim it was the ‘depression’ at work.

Instead of me taking the time to work through my unresolved stuff, so I could be a better person.

A person who was more in alignment, with who I truely am.

So yes…

Letting go of that label was uncomfortable.

But it was also the beginning of freedom.

The reason I called my business Getting Naked, is because, it was during my journey out of depression, and overcoming many other life ailments, that I realised…

In order to move past our labels — our current life circumstances, our struggles…

We need to strip off the labels, the childhood conditioning, the unresolved emotions…

We need to get naked.

Not physically—but mentally, emotionally, energetically.

Stripping off everything that isn’t truly who we are.

Labels are like clothes that don’t fit.

Too tight.

Too heavy.

Two sizes too big.

We keep wearing them because they’re familiar—even when they restrict our movement and dim our light.

Yet, when we stop dressing ourselves in labels, we give ourselves permission to move freely again.

And yes, sometimes we wear labels because they give us something:

Attention.

Sympathy.

Safety.

A reason not to try.

To not step out of our comfort zone.

There’s no shame in that.

But there is power in becoming aware of it.

For once there is awareness, there is the power to change.

And the beauty of this, is that it allows life to happen on your terms.

Depression, anxiety, shyness, or failure no longer dictate your story.

You reclaim the authorship of your own life.

And the freedom this brings, is priceless.

So…

How do we let go of these labels?

First up, we need to identify the labels.

Losing a label starts with awareness.

Realising that you are not who you thought you were, but actually, you are so much more than that.

And who you thought you were, was a limited view of the magnificence that resides within you.

So we begin by identifying the labels we’ve been wearing.

Most of us a wear a LOT of labels, so don’t get overwhelmed by the sheer amount of labels you’re wearing right now.

Just jot them down on a piece of paper, as they come to you.

‘I’m the sick one.’
‘I’m bad with money.’
‘I’m shy.’
‘I’m the single one.’
‘I’m an introvert.’
‘I’m an extrovert.’
‘I’m a mother.’
‘This diagnosis is with me for life.’

For many years I wore the label of ‘The Ugly Duckling’, ‘The one who does well in her career, but not well in romantic relationships’.

And until I was able to shift those labels, I wasn’t attracting in my Prince.

But… if you’ve been following me for a while, you’ll know I’ve been with my gorgeous husband now for almost 15 years.

I share that journey of attracting him in in Episode 12: How Dating Myself Led To My Prince!

So whatever the label is, write it down, so you can see it.

Step 2, is:

Recognising that you are NOT the label.

If, for example, you wrote ‘Is depressed’ or ‘Has depression’ or some other diagnosis you’ve taken on, it’s important to understand…

This label is not who you are — it’s something you’re experiencing right now.

It’s not a fixed state.

It can be temporary.

A condition that, with the right tools and methods, you can chose to release.

Not just with depression, but with many different physical and mental ailments, behaviours and ways of being and thinking.

Laziness is not who you are.

Controlling is not who you are.

Bossy is not who you are.

These are simply patterns of behaviour and habits you’ve adopted to feel safe in who you are.

But we are so much more than our beliefs would have us think.

Step 3, is:

Question the label.

Ask yourself, or journal or meditate on these questions:

Is this always true?

Is this serving me?

Or is it limiting me?

Taking time to really feel into these questions will help you start to loosen the labels’ hold over you, so you can start to see beyond it.

And if you’re new to journalling or meditating, I have episodes that teach you how.

Check out Episode 20 to learn how to journal and Episode 41 to learn how to meditate.

Step 4.

Gently experiment with new behaviours.

If you label yourself as shy, try speaking up in a small group.

If you label yourself as unfit, try moving your body for just five minutes a day.

Try one new behaviour each day—without expectation.

Drop the judgement and begin to explore the full range of who you are and what you’re truly capable of.

One of the labels I adopted early on was:

‘I shake when I speak in public.’

And at that time it seemed true, because I always shook when I spoke in front of people.

So I looked at the beliefs that were behind this label, which all had to do with my self-worth and being good enough.

And then I said ‘Yes’ to speaking gigs, even though I was really scared.

And what happened over the next year, was that I not only stopped shaking when I did public speaking, I started to actually enjoy public speaking.

All of a sudden I was getting booked for some of the most well-regarded events and festivals in Australia.

And people were moved by what I shared in these talks and workshops.

But it all started with the willingness to give it a go, and to believe that maybe, just maybe, shaking didn’t need to be part of my public speaking journey.

Step 5:

Surround yourself with possibilities.

Spend time with people who embody what you want to become.

Because belief in oneself is contagious.

And the people we spend time with have the ability to either lift us up out of our old labels and belief systems that no longer serve, OR reinforce them.

I talk about this in depth in Episode 56: Upgrade Your Environment, Upgrade Your Life.

Because like I teach in my Remarkable Relationships course, in order to create change in our life, we need an environment that mirrors the change we’re wanting to move towards.

It’s a key part of any transformation.

If everyone around you believes in the permanence of your label, it becomes harder to shake it off. That’s why when I decided to overcome the depression, I started seeking out other people who had overcome depression, who believed in growth and change, and who could model what life beyond a label looked like.

Whether it’s friends, mentors, or communities, surrounding yourself with examples of possibility is essential.

And the final step:

See your labels as temporary.

Labels are like seasons—they come and go.

Don’t confuse a season for who you are.

A label only becomes a life sentence, if you choose to actively maintain it.

And why would someone choose to hold onto a label that feels constrictive?

Because labels are often coping mechanisms disguised as truth.

Depression can protect us by giving us a reason to withdraw when the world feels unsafe.

Anxiety can warn us of danger, even when it’s imagined.

ADHD can offer creativity and energy, even when it disrupts focus.

When we realise the label isn’t a permanent truth but a tool our minds are using, we can take control of how we respond.

Now, we can go even deeper into this…

I once ditched the label of ‘Author’.

Not because I wasn’t one—but because it boxed me in.

I realised I’d been using the ‘Author’ label to help me feel worthy, like having written a couple of books made me more credible.

When ultimately, that was simply a self-worth issue I needed to do some healing around.

What was also interesting, was that this ‘Author’ label was limiting me.

It made everything else I wrote feel ‘less than’.

When I realised this, I switched things up…

I simply said: I write.

Because I’m writing all the time.

I write when I tune in to myself each morning, I write blogs, podcasts, courses, stories and meditations, letters, emails…

I’m always writing when I homeschool my son…

And all of that writing is valuable.

Not just the words I decide to write, and then call a book.

So it’s true…

Labels can be useful.

But they should never imprison us.

And if we find we’re using them to feel better about ourself, like I was with the ‘Author’ label, there’s a lot of value in exploring why that is, and then learning how to feel good about ourself, just because we do.

Not because of a certain label we’ve decided to wear.

Eastern philosophy teaches, freedom comes through non-attachment.

To loosening our grip on identity.

To be willing to release what no longer serves.

So this week, I invite you to ask yourself:

• What labels am I wearing?
• And who might I become, if I took them off?

For you are not your diagnosis.

You are not your past.

You are not the story someone once told about you.

At your core, you are love.

And you don’t need a ‘label’ to be worthy of that love.

If this episode awoke something within you, make sure your follow the show, and maybe even leave a short review or rating.

And if you want more support in connecting in with the true you—the one beyond all the labels, go to my website gettingnaked.com.au and sign up for your FREE Self-Love Starter’s Kit.

Inside you’ll find four foundational practices to help you rise above your labels so you can connect with the love within.

To close, I want to leave you with this beautiful Chinese proverb:

“A closed mind is like a closed book; just a block of wood.”

When you’re willing to loosen the labels, you open the book of your life — page by page — and give yourself permission to write a story that’s truly your own.