Are you the target of someone else’s emotional pain?

Tamra MerciecaBlogs, Mental Health, Relationship HealthLeave a Comment

It can be really difficult when someone shoots a vindictive arrow your way.

I’m sure you can remember a time (or 50) where someone fired at you.

Perhaps they said something mean or maybe they did something unforgettable that broke your trust.

It hurt, yeah?

Much more than a physical wound.

You see, while physical wounds heal with time, emotional wounds can hang around for years… if we let them.

It’s pretty crazy really.

We have bandages for cuts, chicken soups for colds, and ice packs for bruises, but most of us have no idea how to treat day-to-day emotional injuries.

Bruises to our ego and lacerations to our self-esteem are every bit as common as flesh wounds, and they come in all shapes and sizes; failure, rejection, abuse, even comparison.

Left untreated, the psychological damage from these injuries can fester like a physical trauma.

They have the ability to cripple us, leading to feelings of melancholy, stress, depression, not to mention the raft of life threatening illnesses that plague society.

So what do you do?

You apply Emotional First Aid.

With my clients I encourage them to write ‘Letting go’ letters.

This is where you take some time out with a pen and paper and let all of your internal gunk towards the person involved, fall out onto the page.

And you keep going until it’s all gone.

Until you have nothing left to write.

Once done, please do NOT send the letter to the person.

You want to burn it.

Create a little ceremony for yourself where you let the letter and any last remnants of negativity you feel, go up in smoke.

I find this is a really cleansing practise that allows you to get all the sh*tty feelings out and find resolution.

Not only that, it usually leads to great insights about the relationship and the role it played in your life because every relationship has a purpose.

There’s one other thing to consider as you do this.

The only reason a persons sends a nasty arrow your way, is because they themself are experiencing emotional pain.

Not wanting to deal with their own demons, they let other people be the target of their inner turmoil.

A person who is completely happy in themselves and their life has no need to shoot arrows of aggression, disdain or any type of backhanded put-down.

So next time you cop a blow to your emotional self, don’t leave the wound to get infected, deal with it immediately.

Show yourself some love and apply your emotional first aid.

The only person the emotional stab hurts, is the person who chooses not to heal it.

So give it up, knowing that as you do, you’re freeing yourself up to live a happy and healthy life.

Want to learn more about how to develop relationship with self so you no longer take on other people’s emotional gunk?

Then enrol in our 3-month online course Remarkable Relationships where you’ll learn how to learn how to clear past hurts and limiting that are keeping you stuck in all areas of your life.

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