Relationship problems: Are you whole on your own?

Tamra MerciecaBlogs, Relationship HealthLeave a Comment

We read it in romance novels, we hear it in Hollywood movies, hell, I’m sure a few friends of yours have thrown around the line: ‘He completes me’.

Do you subscribe to this statement?

Or do you realise that it’s one of the most disempowering phrases you can think, let alone say out loud.

Why do I smash this statement apart with the biggest jackhammer I can get my hands onto?

Because when you believe that another person completes you, you give away your power, self-respect and self-worth.

Simple as that!

This is one of the biggest relationship problems I see.

When you believe someone else completes you, you suddenly become the other half of a person.

And if you’re someone’s other half, does that mean you’re not a full person?

What if that person was to disappear out of your life tomorrow?

Then what?

Because you lost your other half, does that mean you can no longer function in this world?

Does it mean that you are any less of a person because you no longer have someone to fill in the bits you never took the time to fill in yourself?

No, it certainly does not.

Despite what some may think, to say that ‘He/she complete me’, is not a compliment.

This statement translates to ‘I need another person’.

You should never need another person to feel happy or fulfilled.

YOU should be all you need, and a partner is simply an added bonus.

Many people are blind to this belief’s effects on their decisions – it really does create HUGE relationship problems.

It has a way of slapping a piece of masking tape across your mouth, even when you know something is not right within the relationship.

It has you shutting down your truth for fear of losing that person.


Because to rock the boat and risk losing your other half, would be like losing a part of yourself leaving you stranded at sea.



If you feel you need someone else to complete you, that’s a sure sign that you have some personal wounds that need healing, not a man/woman to cover up this wound.

Forget the romantic notion that will only set you up for pain and do some inner work – start clearing out the emotional gunk you’ve accumulated over the years that has you thinking you need another person to feel complete.

It is only when you finally believe you are a complete person (which by the way, you were nothing less than complete, you simply perceived that you were incomplete) that you can attract in a healthy relationship with someone else; a relationship that doesn’t fill a need but is there to enhance your already fulfilling life.

If you are struggling to feel complete on your own, or dealing with other relationship problems, then take a peek at our Remarkable Relationships 3-month online course.

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