Self-love isn’t just a new fad or some trendy catchphrase. When we dive under the surface of self-love, we discover that self-love is in fact the foundation of a happy, healthy and fulfilling life.
So if you’ve been thinking there’s not much substance to self-love, and that perhaps it’s not relevant to you… OR you simply want to understand more about how cultivating self-love will ripple through all corners of your life… and help you feel more confidently at peace with everything in your world…
This episode of I Love Me the Podcast, is for you.
I thought this week, we’d go a little deeper, on WHY self-love is essential to your life, to my life, and to well, everyone’s life!
Picture this…
You wake up in the morning, look in the mirror, and genuinely appreciate and believe in the person staring back at you.
You embrace, what in the past, you may have perceived as your flaws, you celebrate your strengths, and you treat yourself with kindness and compassion.
That my friend, is the power of self-love.
When we have this kind of relationship with ourself, it shines into every corner of our life.
When we have self-love – when we believe in ourself – as opposed to doubting ourself and giving ourself a hard time (we’ve all done it) – then we’re better equipped to navigate life’s challenges.
We have a deep inner trust that we can make the right decisions, and that we can live our life in a way that feels stimulating and nourishing.
And as a result of this we have more energy to support those around us.
Because we’re full.
In this way, prioritising self-love is a gift that keeps on giving, to ourself and to everyone we meet and connect with.
Consider self-love being like your source of oxygen.
If we breath in a shallow manner, and restrict our supply, then we don’t feel as alive and energised and our body can’t received the oxygen nutrients and vitality it needs, to function as it was designed.
And so both our mental and physical health decline.
It’s the same with self-love.
If we restrict our supply of self-love, then our body and mind suffer.
We only have to look at the research done by scientists like Bruce Lipton and Candice Pert, to know that when we think negatively of ourself, this effects the functioning of our cells, and the type of chemicals our body produces.
What I’m saying, is that positive healthy self-talk – born from a place of self-love – invites the body into a healthier state.
While negative self-talk – born from a lack of self-love – does the opposite.
Negativity and stress essentially harm the body’s equilibrium, and over time, can lead to long-term illness and disease.
This is why people with depression have a tendency to get sick a lot.
The negative mindset that is characteristic of someone with depression, or someone who is stressed or has some kind of mental disorder; that negativity and self-doubt break down our physical resilience.
So we can see that our mental and physical selves, feed off each other.
Spiritually speaking, they are one and the same thing.
And I’ll do a future episode on how our mental state effects our physical state and the science behind this.
But for now, the core message I want to share with you, is:
Loving yourself makes EVERY area of your life better.
And I see this first hand with my clients.
If you’re new to the show, I’ve been working as a Self-Love Therapist for over 20 years now…
So I’ve worked with a lot of different people, and helped them resolve a lot of different personal issues.
But what they all start to notice, when they begin learning how to come into a healthy relationship with themselves, is that not only does the initial issue they came to me with – not only does that resolve…
But other areas of their life start to come back into alignment as well.
So maybe someone comes to me with a money issue or a health complaint, yet as they learn how to love themselves, and see themselves in a different light, their relationships with others improve, or they start to love their body more after years of self-hate, which ends an unhealthy relationship with food.
What I’m saying is that, the root of any life problem, is essentially a lack of self-love.
And when we start to restore that self-love, then old stories and circumstances start to shift and change for the better.
So I really do see loving oneself, and being willing to continue to love oneself a little bit more each day, as the key that opens the door to not only our mental, emotional and physical health….
But to healthy relationships, healthy bank balances and healthy careers.
When I first started working with people, it was to help them overcome depression and anxiety.
But what I realised, is that when self-love is the focus of our sessions – that any life area can be healed.
Because our love for ourself or our lack of love for ourself, influences how we relate to each life area.
Hence why I can now say, that focusing on self-love is by far THE most powerful therapeutic technique I know of.
Because…
Self-love really is the FOUNDATION of our life.
The foundation of EVERYTHING.
And this is why self-love is the central theme in all the programs I offer at my online school Getting Naked.
For when self-love is at the core of our practices, then those practices become far more transformational.
And the reason for this, is:
Love transforms anything it touches.
It was learning how to love myself that allowed me to move past a state in my 20s where I was suicidal and suffering from severe clinical depression, to being able to move into a way of being with myself, that made me happy.
So I no longer needed antidepressants.
So I no longer had harmful thoughts.
So I could live FULLY, for the first time in my life, with a robust and resilient mental health.
And I’ll share my full journey out of depression, in an episode later this season.
So that if depression is holding you back or you know someone else who is suffering as a result of a mental health disorder, they can be shown an effective way of moving through that.
And you’ll hear me mention how I overcame depression from time-to-time, because it was that journey that opened my eyes to self-love.
And once I understood how self-love worked, then I applied it to every area of my life that was a shambles.
Like… romantic relationships.
It was cultivating self-love, that allowed me to end a string of doozy relationships – which I share the details of in my second book Getting Naked The Dating Game – and easily attract in my now husband, who I’ve been travelling with for over 13 years now.
A relationship I continue to deepen into, because I continue to apply the teachings of self-love.
It was building my self-love that allowed me the confidence and belief in myself to move from a successful career in journalism, to starting my own school, where I now get to help people like you, build their self-love from the ground up.
I’ve had life threatening illnesses, that again, I’ve used the tools of self-love to heal, and I’ve seen this work for my clients.
One women who came to see me was on $1000 worth of medication a month, just to keep her alive.
And by the time she finished my One-on-One Intensive, she was healthier than ever before, and no longer needed her medication.
That is the miracle of self-love.
Time and time again, I see how self-love heals and transforms people’s lives, not just mine, but people from all walks of life.
Hence why I’m so passionate about sharing these teachings with you.
Because as I’ve learnt, if something in our life isn’t working the way we’d like it to be, the place we need to look to, is ourself.
And explore where we need a self-love ‘top-up’.
Where are we not accepting ourself?
Where are we not valuing ourself?
Where are we not respecting ourself?
These are the types of questions we want to ask ourself, so we can shine light on the places that need more love.
Self-love is healing.
Healing on all levels.
Any journey of transformation or healing, needs to be approached from a place of love, because when something is out of alignment, it’s our body – or our soul’s – way of letting us know, we’re running low on love.
So if we’re running low on love, then the only way we can heal our troubles, is to add some love into the mix.
To let ‘loving ourself’ be our focus.
Now I know, to a conditioned mind, using self-love to heal one’s life, could feel a little too floaty, or simplistic, or simply a distraction when life is throwing you a major curveball or ten.
And I see it all the time, people will wait until their health has truely eroded, or they’re on the brink of divorce, or they have some major breakdown, before they’re willing to try the whole self-love thing.
Nothing else has worked…
So they turn to self-love as a last resort.
But it doesn’t need to get that bad, before we embrace self-love.
We can begin inviting in some self-love, and make it a part of our life, to help us feel good in our day-to-day living.
To help us cultivate a relationship with our inner voice, so we can feel more internally guided, when we get thrown a bucket full of doozies.
It’s like trying to drive a car that keeps telling you it’s running out of fuel.
If you don’t stop to fill it up, then eventually it’s going to run empty, and then you’re not going anywhere, right?
That’s how it is with self-love.
If life is wobbly right now, that’s your internal dashboard telling you it’s time to stop and fill up.. on LOVE.
Because when we’re in a loving space, we feel calmer, more at ease, our confidence is higher, we‘re able to see beyond the emotions and overwhelm, and as a result of this, have more clarity to action the decisions that will make all the difference.
That’s why self-love isn’t something you find in a Hallmark card.
Self-love is a daily practice.
A practice that is for every single one of us, and the sooner we embrace it, and are willing to start that beautiful journey of loving ourself that little bit more each day, the sooner our life starts to really shine.
And we get to feel good.
Because yes, you may be really successful in your career, in your relationship, in some area of your life.
But the real measure of success, is how you feel.
Do you feel stressed all the time, while living your crazy busy seemingly ‘successful’ life…
…or do you feel at ease, honouring when your body needs rest, and living in a way that supports you in enjoying life to its fullest, well into your wiser years.
Are you at peace with yourself?
You’ll know if you need to love yourself more, because things in your life won’t quite feel right.
That, or your life will be a complete mess.
Exhaustion, going into comparison mode, feeling like you’re never quite there, never quite on top of things or achieving the things you want…
These are all signs of a lack of self-love.
But, as I’ve told you before, you can change all that.
You can start walking the path of self-love… today… right now…
Or deepening into self-love…. if you’ve been exploring it for a while now…
What’s really beautiful about opening yourself to self-love, is that you don’t need to make some big grand gesture.
Small, consistent steps, are where the magic is.
That’s why, this season we’ll be exploring different ways you can invite more self-love into your world.
Ways you can make self-love a priority, so you can enjoy more ease and freedom in your life, and less struggle and anxiety and overwhelm.
And if you missed last season’s tools and practices I shared for cultivating self-love, see the links below to some of my favourite episodes, where I’ve taught some really powerful, yet simple tools to grow your self-love.
I encourage you to explore them, use them, and let them guide you into a more heartfelt way of being and doing life.
So….
I invite you this week to ask yourself these three question:
– If self-love is the foundation of my life – if self-love will help me feel happier and more content – how can I make space for cultivating self-love?
– What changes do I need to make?
– What needs to shift in my life for this to happen?
Take some time to sit with these questions, see what comes through for you, and maybe… start to play with the idea, of self-love simply being a way of life for you.
A way that allows you to become a magnet for positivity.
For that’s what happens when you love yourself, you attract in more love, and this is how we manifest.
Now I know the word ‘manifesting’ is kinda one of those terms that’s thrown around the spiritual world a bit willy nilly.
But manifesting, is simply about coming into a relationship with yourself that allows you to live the life you wish to lead.
Where you’re very intentional about what you’re welcoming into your life.
In fact, just like self-love is the foundation of every corner of your life, so too is it the foundation of manifesting, which we explored in Episode 22.
So if you’d like to manifest your life in a way that feels good for you, where you get to feel confident and at peace within yourself, where you get to live your life the way you want to live it…
Then I invite you to come on a three-month journey with me, where I’ll teach you the exact skills you need to fall in love with yourself, and in doing so, fall in love with your own unique life.
Doors are now open to my program Remarkable Relationships.
In a nutshell, this program teaches you how to become your own healer, how to clear limiting beliefs, how to tune into your heart’s wisdom, how to move your body into a state of deep healing…
This program shares the exact skills I’ve used to cultivate the self-love that has allowed me to build a solid foundation for myself.
Where I get to live freely and authentically.
If this sounds like the antidote for you, I can’t wait to share all the teachings, practices and tools that will offer you the transformation you’re looking for.
The program is called Remarkable Relationships because you learn how to come into a healthy relationship with every area of your life.
Simply go to my show notes for the link to the program, or visit my website gettingnaked.com.au and if you do enrol, know that 10% percent of profits will go to planting trees, so together we can re-robe Mother Earth.