Ditch V-day and celebrate Self-Love Day instead!

Tamra MerciecaBlogs, Mental Health, Relationship HealthLeave a Comment

Valentine’s Day has the ability to sweep you off your feet in one romantic heart-fluttering waltz, or leave you standing by the dance floor, feeling alone and dare I say, miserable.

Singletons are usually the biggest causality on February 14, but even those of us in relationships can be left feeling bitterly disappointed when the roses (or in my case ‘sunflowers’) get delivered to the desk next door.

What are we left with?

An ‘expectation hangover’.

Why do so many of us subscribe to this volatile day?

Because deep down all we want is to be loved.


I’m yet to meet someone who doesn’t just want to give and receive love and feel all those warm and fuzzy feelings that go along with being in a fairy-tale relationship complete with the ‘happily ever after’.

The thing is, we don’t need to be in a relationship with someone else to experience that unconditional love.

It was while dating every toad in town – which you can read about in my second book Getting Naked – The Dating Game – that I had a light bulb moment:

Love doesn’t come from another person (no matter how much you pay them!).
The only place you’ll find love is within.

Ok, so perhaps I’m stating the obvious. Yet not many people know ‘how’ to dive into that pool of unconditional love.

So let me share my tips on giving yourself love, so you can experience buckets of love no matter what your relationship status:

  • Date Yourself! When you take time to wine and dine yourself as you would a new lover, you deepen your connection with yourself, which leads to more confidence and a stronger sense of self. This is self-love at it’s best!
  • Spoil Yourself: Book in for a massage (or give yourself one), buy yourself flowers or have a facial. Why wait for someone else to make you feel special when you can give yourself that glorious gift of self-love.
  • Inspire Yourself: Next time you feel yourself going into comparison, stop. Ask yourself: What does this person have that I’d like? And then take steps to create that for yourself, using that person’s success as inspiration.
  • Nourish Yourself: Healthy self-talk is even more important than feeding yourself nutritious foods. So compliment yourself often, refuse to give life to the negative mind-chatter, and be your most fabulous self without fear, shame or guilt. If you struggle with this, listen to The Art of Self-Love playshop explaining how to unplug your internal critic.

When you continue to fill up your personal self-love tank, you feel better about yourself, your life and your future, and you attract in people and opportunities to experience even more love.

Self-love is a potent tool in creating the life you wish to lead, from having a fulfilling career with a sparkling pay check, to enjoying a healthy body and mindset as well as relationships that nourish you on all levels.

In our culture, we are focused on ‘getting’ love from others or giving it to others, but we are not taught to give ourselves that love.

Instead of giving love to another – which certainly is a lovely gift – it’s even more empowering to give love to yourself.

My challenge to you this week, is to take yourself on a date this Thursday to celebrate International Self-Love Day.

Once you’ve dated yourself once, you’ll want to do it again and again and again.

And by all means, please do!

And if you’d like to spoil yourself with a book all about self-love and romancing YOU, then grab a copy of my second book Getting Naked – The Dating Game.

Simply use the codeword ILOVEBOOKS to get the hardcopy for just $6!

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