Have you ever noticed how much energy we spend trying not to feel what we’re feeling? We push things away. We try to fix, rush, avoid, pretend things aren’t the way they are. We think, ‘If I can just change this one thing… then I’ll be okay.’

But healing doesn’t come from resisting life. It begins with acceptance. Not resignation. Not defeat. But a courageous and loving yes to what is, right now. A deep breath that says: This is where I am—and that’s totally okay.

In today’s episode on I Love Me The Podcast, we’re exploring acceptance as the first—and maybe the most powerful—step, in any healing journey. We’ll look at… What it really means to accept something? How to do it? But most importantly, we’ll discover the subtle but powerful shift that happens when we stop resisting life and start meeting it… just as it is.

 

Simple, inspiring lessons in self-love. Hello perfectly wonderful being, it’s Tamra here.

A couple of episodes ago I talked about the concept of Zen, and how it invites us into a way of being, that allows us to love and accept ourselves.

Today I want to go deeper into the’ acceptance’ piece of the puzzle.

Because in my experience, acceptance is the key to deep transformation.

To getting things to shift, so you can experience more ease, more peace and more grace in life.

Now, I know the word acceptance can sometimes sound like ‘giving up’.

Like saying, ‘Fine, I’ll accept it because I have to.’

But true acceptance isn’t passive.

It’s not about settling.

In psychological terms, acceptance means recognising the reality of a situation without trying to change it, fight it, escape it, or deny it.

That doesn’t mean we have to like it.

We’re not handing out gold stars to our pain or clapping for life’s chaos.

It just means we’re not at war with it.

And that is an act of self-love.

In accepting a situation, we make the conscious choice to stop fighting what already is.

For, resisting reality doesn’t make it go away.

All it does, is exhaust us.

Taking away the very energy we need for healing.

In this way…

Resisting keeps us stuck.

Swiss psychiatrist and psychotherapist, Carl Jung, said it like this:

‘What we resist, persists. What we accept, transforms.’

This is why I believe:

Acceptance is one of the most courageous and loving things we can do for ourself.

Because when we choose to accept life as it is, we’re not pretending everything’s peachy…

We’re simply saying:

‘This is what’s here. This is what’s real. And I’m willing to meet it.’

I’m willing to accept this is how things are, at this point in time.

Because once you can get into that space of acceptance, of what is right now…

It gives that thing the space to shift.

Acceptance in this way, opens the door to healing.

To transformation.

To welcoming in expansion, all through the lens of self-compassion.

In other words…

Acceptance is where you come into harmony with life.

From there…

We have choices as to what you want to do, and how to move forward.

So when we’re trying to heal something in our life—whether it’s a relationship, a pattern, a health challenge, or a part of ourselves we’re still learning to love—acceptance is the first step.

Not fixing.

Not forcing.

Not running away.

But sitting gently with what is, and letting that be the doorway to change.

Because here’s the thing:

Healing can’t happen if we’re busy resisting our reality.

When we’re in resistance mode, we’re taking our inner guidance from our Ego, as opposed to our True Self, and that never ends well.

If you’d like a deeper understanding of these concepts, here are two podcast episodes I highly recommend:

Ep.4 Meet Your True Self. A Journey To Authenticity.

Ep.35 Don’t Let Your Ego Get Behind The Wheel.

But the point I want to make here, is that ‘resistance’ is a sign that we are not connected to our inner voice.

We’re not listening to that deeper part of us, that understands what this challenge is here to teach us, and therefore, knows the way forward.

It’s really easy when we’re trying to heal something in our life—whether it’s physical pain, emotional wounds, or a tough situation—to jump straight into ‘fix it’ mode.

But when we try to bypass or override where we’re at; if we try to resist it…

We tense up.

We judge ourselves, which isn’t self-loving.

We layer suffering upon suffering.

Because resisting something, keeps us in the suffering cycle.

And this further disconnects us from the wisdom of our all-knowing heart.

It’s really hard to listen to our inner voice for guidance, when we are in a contracted state of being, due to resisting what is.

That’s why, the moment we stop pushing against life, and start allowing it, something magical happens.

Instead of resisting, we start relating.

This moves us from a contracted state, to a spacious state.

We feel more at ease.

And from that peaceful space of inner connection, clarity and guidance can emerge.

Suddenly, our next step becomes obvious to us.

This is how practising acceptance really is the key to shifting what needs to be shifted, and healing what needs to be healed.

What I do want to highlight though, is that:

Acceptance doesn’t mean we want things to stay the same.

Or that things will stay the same.

It just means we’re willing to meet life as it is in this moment, and from that honest place, change becomes possible.

This is why any healing journey needs to start with acceptance.

There’s a beautiful poem by Rumi called The Guest House, that speaks right into the heart of this:

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honourably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whatever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

Rumi invites us to meet every emotion, every mood, every messy, inconvenient part of life as a guest.

Even if they’re dragging mud through the hallway.

Even if they’re not bringing wine.

He says:

‘Welcome them anyway. ‘

Because maybe—just maybe—they came bearing a gift.

That they’re not our enemy, but our teacher.

That, my friend, is the heart of acceptance.

Not giving in or giving up.

But standing at the door of life and saying:

‘Alright, let’s do this. I’ll meet you where you are.’

I’ve seen this play out so often in my own life and in my clients’ journeys.

The moment we stop fighting the sadness, or the tight bank account, or the body that’s doing something weird this week… and instead pause, take a breath, and say, ‘Okay. This is what’s here. Let’s listen…’

…it softens.

It’s like the universe exhales with us.

And then… the miracle happens.

Things shift.

So, how do we do this?

How do we come into acceptance?

Because while coming into acceptance may sound good in theory, we need to know how to do this in real life.

So let me give you three steps in:

Firstly…

Notice what you’re resisting, by ‘naming’ it.

Is there something in your life you’re fighting against?

A feeling, a situation, a truth?

Is there something that isn’t the way you want it to be?

When you notice you’re struggling—emotionally, physically, mentally—pause, and name it.

‘This is anger.’

‘This is tension.’

‘This is uncertainty.’

Naming something brings it out of the shadows.

It makes it less scary.

And it brings clarity to what’s really going on for you.

Next…

Welcome It (even if you don’t like it or even hate it)

Drop the judgement.

Instead of thinking ‘I shouldn’t feel this’ or ‘Why is this happening to me?’, try something like…

‘It’s okay to feel this way’.

‘I see you. You’re allowed to be here.’

This is not you saying ‘I love what I’m experiencing right now’.

It’s simply means you’re willing to stop fighting it.

Think of it like holding a crying child—you don’t have to love the crying, but you offer your arms anyway.

Once you’re willing to be present with it…

Ask:

What are you here to teach me?

Every emotion, every challenge, every difficult season, holds wisdom.

Just like Rumi says, ‘Each has been sent as a guide from beyond.’

Sometimes pain is clearing space for something new.

Sometimes discomfort is the nudge toward growth.

So ask gently:

‘What are you trying to show me?’

Then listen.

Not with your head.

But with your heart.

Your True Self.

Listen to those gentle whispers.

I share more about listening to our True Self, in Episode 4, and give you the complete tools and practices to develop a relationship with your True Self in both my Way of Self-Love course and my more in depth program Remarkable Relationships.

So…

Notice what’s rising up within you, that perhaps in the past, you haven’t created the space to hear.

And if you’re still stuck in the resisting, ask:

What would it be like to accept this?

Even if you’re not ready to accept something fully, you can open a little crack in the door.

Just ask the question:

What would it feel like to accept this?

Sit with the possibility of accepting it, and know that acceptance isn’t the end.

It’s just the beginning.

It’s the inhale before the healing exhale.

Once you accept what’s real, then you can decide:

What do I want to do with this?

What kind of healing or action feels called for right now?

When we’re willing to accept a situation, an emotion, a challenge, life itself, as it is right now, the gifts are many:

We have less anxiety, because we’re no longer fighting reality like it’s the enemy.

We have more clarity, because once the fog or resistance clears, we can actually see what’s needed.

We gain deeper self-trust, because we’re not abandoning ourself every time life gets tricky.

And the sweetest one of all?

We get to feel free.

Even when things aren’t perfect.

Because acceptance doesn’t mean staying stuck.

It just means we begin from where we actually are, not where we wish we were.

Imagine saying to yourself:

‘This is me, today.

With tired eyes, big dreams, and some things I’m still figuring out.

And I’m allowed to be exactly here.’

That kind of inner permission changes lives.

So, wherever you’re at today, I invite you to pause.

Breathe.

And say to yourself:

‘I accept this moment.

I accept myself.

Let’s see what unfolds from here.’

The curious paradox is that when we accept life just as it is, then life begins to move.

Spiritual teacher, Eckhart Tolle, sums this up perfectly:

‘Nothing brings peace faster than complete acceptance of what is.’

When we choose to accept our struggles, we’re not giving up, we’re showing up.

And when we meet life as it is, rather than how we wish it were—we create the perfect conditions for greater peace, clarity, and yes… healing.

So if you’re carrying something tender today, I hope you can pause.

Breathe.

Gently name it.

You don’t have to like it.

But maybe you can accept that it’s here.

And that, dear one, is more than enough.

If this episode spoke to you, feel free to share it with someone who might need a little reminder to breathe and accept what’s here.

Until next time—be kind to yourself, and if you’re looking for some foundational practices in self-love, head over to my website gettingnaked.com.au and sign up for your free Self-Love Starter’s Kit.

This Mini Course takes you on a gentle 4-week journey into learning how to love yourself.

Because the relationship you have with you… really does change everything.

And a few words from Eckhart Tolle on this…

‘Accept – then act.  Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as it you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it…. This will miraculously transform our whole life.’