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We all like to feel comfy, right? It can give us a sense of safety and predictability. But what happens if the place we feel comfy – the place of our ‘comfort zone’ – isn’t serving us?
What if that comfortable feeling we get from doing the same things we’ve always done, is actually holding us back? Getting in the way of our dreams. Halting our growth. And in doing so, minimising our ability to love ourself.
Today on I Love Me The Podcast I’ll be sharing the one thing you need to know, so you feel comfortable moving out of your comfort zone.
The ‘comfort zone’ is an interesting phenomenon.
Many people have quite an attachment to the good ‘ol comfort zone, sitting in it because it’s so, well comfy.
It’s like a big old lounge, it wraps around you, keeping you safe and secure; you know what to expect because it’s the lounge you’ve had since you can remember.
The question we need to ask ourselves when life feels super comfy, is:
Is my life really comfy?
Or is it just that it offers me familiarity?
A sense of safety, because it’s so predictable?
Because that’s what the comfort zone is.
It’s essentially where a person goes about life, generally in an anxiety-free way, using a limited set of behaviours to perform in a steady way that gets predictable results, without any real sense of risk.
It mostly feels easy, routine.
It’s familiar.
It’s within our ‘comfort zone’.
Now because it offers us this predictability – it can make us feel safe – and as a result, it can feel very appealing to stay in this so-called comfort zone.
Because this way of doing life is so routine – and doesn’t cause too much stress – there’s no incentive to reach for anything new.
Anything new that might increase our enjoyment of life, or that might strengthen our sense of self, or that might build new skills.
And so when we sit in this comfort zone, there is the natural inclination to plateau.
We start to form habits in life, that with time slip under the rug, and before we know it these same habits are suffocating us, restricting us; holding us back.
We become so scared of the new, that leaving this comfort zone brings up way too much fear to even contemplate doing something different.
Problem is:
Do the same thing, get the same result.
And so we continue to sit snug in our comfy lounge chair of life.
Sure it’s gone out of style now, it’s wearing thin and got quite lumpy, but hey, it’s what we know.
People describe this as feeling ‘stuck in a rut’ or they get into a habit of giving up on opportunities before they’ve even considered them.
They get into the mindset of: ‘This is how life is, so this is how life will always be.’
That might be your way of thinking now but just as you can change your mindset, so too can you change your circumstances.
It’s for this very reason, I decided to re-label ‘comfort zone’ as small zone.
Small zone, because when we’re sitting there in our comfy comfort zone, we’re playing small.
We’re not stretching ourselves to our full potential.
We’re not learning and growing and leaning into our true wants and desires.
No, we’re sitting in our comfort zone.
And science shows that when a person does the same thing day in day out, that our brains become more rigid, and less able to adapt to new situations and experiences.
Now while it’s ok to sit in our comfort zone from time to time, we just don’t want to spend ALL our time there.
Otherwise we become stagnant.
The growth stops.
And I’m a big believer that we are here on planet earth, to grow.
To learn about ourself, to learn about the world around us, and in doing so learn how to be more loving, compassionate and kind beings.
So where are we when we’re not sitting in small zone?
We’re in BIG zone of course.
Or maybe you’d prefer to call it ‘Growth zone’, because ultimately that’s what we do when we move out of comfort zone, we grow.
We grow into our bigness.
And when I say that, I mean we give ourselves permission to live more authentically, more expansively, and more open to experiencing the fullness of life.
Not only that, we’re actually helping increase our brain’s neuroplasticity, so we’re better able to adapt to new experiences and challenges.
Yes, stepping out of our comfort zone, makes us mentally stronger.
Now when you go to step out of your comfort zone, maybe take a new walking route, or apply for a new job, or approach your relationship in a new way, or try learning a new language or musical instrument…
When you go to step out of your comfort zone and try something new and different, there will, in most cases, be hesitation.
Resistance.
Especially if you’ve been sitting snug in your comfort zone for a while now.
I go into depth on this ‘resistance’ and how to overcome it in my episode 10 And this is how we self-sabotage.
But ultimately, the reason there is this hesitation to step out of our comfort zone, is because our brains are wired to seek out comfort and familiarity.
Hence, fear sets in.
Often the fear of failure.
But as I’ll discuss in next week’s episode fear is actually a good thing!
For in most cases, fear is simply letting us know that there’s an opportunity for growth.
So just know that experiencing resistance, fear or anxiety are natural feelings when we decide to try something new.
When we decide to leave our comfort zone.
So what are the benefits of leaving one’s comfort zone?
The biggie is growth.
The ability to lean into our highest potential.
To be all we are here to be.
To live more authentically.
To build resilience and adaptability.
To become more creative.
It boosts our confidence and self-esteem.
And it expands our horizons.
I know moving from Australia to France with my husband and one-year-old, totally achieved all of this, because it was completely removed from my comfort zone.
And yes, there was fear and anxiety at times.
But there was also so much expansion personally, and so many fun times that I would never have had, had I have not been willing to quite literally leap out of my comfort zone, and live on the other side of the world in a country that speaks a different language.
Now I need to say, I‘ve had lots of practice stepping out of my comfort zone, so please don’t feel you need to leap out like I did, and move your whole life overseas.
Start with something that’s only a little scary.
Maybe a new haircut.
Or shopping somewhere new.
Or trying a class in painting or yoga.
Start small.
Build your ‘moving-out-of-comfort-zone’ muscle gradually and steadily.
And just see what opens up for you.
For it’s only when we decide to step out of our comfort zone, that we’s able to create change.
That we’re able to get different results to what we’ve been getting.
There is a big world out there, full of fun, life-enhancing opportunities and invitations to step into our greatness.
Our life really can be magical when we’re willing to embrace the new.
To embrace life.
As the America Author Neal Donald Walsch, once said:
‘Life begins at the end of your comfort zone’.
So if you want to fully live, and love more abundantly than you have before, then learning how to be comfy being out of your comfort zone, is a great strength to cultivate.
Now if there’s one very common thing that keeps us hanging out in our comfort zone, it’s the fear of failure.
So next week, we’ll be exploring the truth about ‘failure’ so you never have to fear it again.
If you have this underlying feeling of being a failure, or you choose not to explore new things for fear of being a failure… this episode will change how you feel about failing, so you actually look forward to your next so-called ‘fail’!
Seriously…
Failure is a step on the path to happily right NOW!
More on that next week.
Until then, make sure you subscribe to the show, so that you get EVERY episode as soon as it’s released.
I look forward connecting with you next week, and if you’re loving what I’m sharing on I Love Me The Podcast, and want to dive deeper into self-love, take a peek at my online school gettingnaked.com.au where I teach you how to strip off the layers of childhood conditioning, so you can fall in love with YOU.
Sign up for your free Self-Love Starter’s Kit , and if you do enrol in any of my programs, know that a percentage of profits go to planting trees, so together we can re-robe Mother Earth.