You know that feeling when you’ve said “yes” to something… and instantly regret it? Maybe it’s agreeing to dinner when all you really want is a night on the couch. Or offering to help with something, even though your plate is already overflowing. Or letting someone vent to you for the fifth time this week—while you sit there, quietly seething inside.

We’ve all been there. And here’s the thing nobody tells you— Boundaries aren’t just about saying ‘no’ to others. They’re about saying ‘yes’ to yourself.

Today on I Love Me: The Podcast, we’re diving into the wildly misunderstood world of boundaries… Why they’re not walls to hide behind, but bridges to deeper connection—with yourself, and with others. How they help you reclaim your time, your energy, and your peace of mind. And why setting them isn’t selfish—it’s self-respect.

 

Simple inspiring lessons in self-love. Hi sweetpea, it’s Tamra here.

Today, we’re exploring a topic that gets a bad rap, but deserves a sparkly crown in your self-love toolkit…

We’re talking about Boundaries.

Yes, boundaries—the thing you may think will make you seem difficult or high-maintenance… but in reality, boundaries are your golden ticket to more freedom, more joy, and more authentic connection.

Yes…

Boundaries make freedom possible.

Sounds like a paradox, right?

Like saying chocolate cake makes you skinny?

But trust me on this one.

Boundaries aren’t about shutting life out.

They’re about inviting in the right things—the nourishing, respectful, supportive things—and saying a polite but firm ‘no, thank you’ to what drains or diminishes you.

Without boundaries, life (and people) tend to stretch us way beyond our limits—sometimes in sneaky ways, sometimes with flashing neon lights.

Let’s bring it into the body for a second..

Think about yoga.

Props like bolsters and blocks?

They’re not signs of weakness.

They’re healthy boundaries for your body.

They hold you.

They support you.

They keep you aligned, especially if you’re naturally bendy or hyper-flexible!

Those props create a safe space for your body to relax and soften without tipping into injury or strain.

That’s why inside my Yoga for the Vagina online series, we use props to create healthy boundaries for our body, so we can release deep tension while staying beautifully aligned, and most importantly, safe.

Now, emotional boundaries?

Same principle.

Different props.

Our props become the decisions we make to support us, in staying aligned to our truth.

In this way…

Boundaries aren’t barriers to love—they’re containers for it.

Because here’s the thing:

Some people think boundaries are restrictive.

That they’ll make you rigid, cold, selfish, or somehow less ‘spiritual’.

But honestly?

Boundaries aren’t about pushing people away.

They’re about preserving your energy and protecting your joy.

They help you stay true to yourself.

They nurture your essence.

They create space for freedom.

Freedom to show up as the real you.

Because every part of life is about relationship—whether it’s with yourself, your family, your finances, your body, your job, or even your phone (yes, we have relationships with EVERY thing in our life).

When we bring loving boundaries into these relationships, that’s when the magic can happen.

Here’s what I’ve learned (the hard way, I might add):

Most people struggle with boundaries because they’ve absorbed some very sticky, unhelpful beliefs.

We talk about beliefs in depth, and how they came about, in Episode 2: Programmed for Love.

The kinds of beliefs we took on as a child, may be things like:

If I set boundaries, people will think I’m selfish.

People will abandon me if I stand up for myself.

It’s easier to just go along with it.

Sound familiar?

Here’s the truth:

When you set boundaries from a place of love, the people around you either step up—or step away.

And both outcomes are gifts.

If they step up?

Your relationship evolves into something richer, more respectful, more satisfying.

A relationship that is nourishing.

If they step away?

They’ve cleared space for people who will honour and meet you.

And at the end of the day, you want people in your life who respect you and support you in being the most authentic version of yourself.

In this way…

Boundaries aren’t about control.

They’re about clarity.

They define your edges, your capacity, and your availability.

They say, ‘Here’s what I can offer—and here’s what I can’t.’

And that is how you care for yourself in a way that doesn’t leave you exhausted, bitter, or quietly plotting your escape from the next awkward dinner party.

Now…let’s get super practical here.

What exactly are healthy boundaries?

They’re simply ‘decisions about:

How you wish to be treated, what you’re willing to allow into your life, and how you want to live, in integrity with your truth.

For example:

If someone blows up in anger and directs it at you, you can lovingly but firmly exit that space, and in doing so, set a boundary around respectful communication.

Anger itself isn’t bad; I actually dive deep into the emotion of anger in Episode 6—because anger is a boundary guardian, not a villain.

But how it’s expressed, matters.

Boundaries also show up in your relationship with… yourself.

Yes, self-boundaries are a thing, just like self-love.

Let’s say you’re doom-scrolling Instagram until midnight every night, waking up exhausted and cranky.

That’s your body asking for a boundary.

Maybe it’s ‘No screens after 8pm.’

Maybe it’s ‘Put the phone in a different room.’

And if you do have a habit of staying up late, going to bed after 10pm, then have a listen to Episode 60: Sleep Like Your Life Depends On It.

In that episode I share the healing power of a 10pm bedtime, so if you wake up feeling tired, or you have health complaints or low energy, this episode will give you some great insights on how to set an empowering boundary around your sleep.

The important thing to know, is that:

Boundaries can evolve and shift over time, but they start with one question:

What do I need to feel good and whole right now?

If you feel depleted, disrespected, or resentful—there’s probably a boundary asking to be set.

Now, let’s get spicy for a second.

Sometimes we think being ‘loving’ means tolerating bad behaviour.

But holding space for someone doesn’t mean you let them walk all over you.

If someone close to you speaks to you disrespectfully and you say nothing, not only are you abandoning yourself, but you’re also robbing them of a chance to grow.

Because honestly, people who lash out or cross boundaries are usually treating themselves poorly, too.

Yet when you speak up lovingly but firmly, you invite them to reflect—and maybe even shift.

What I love about this, is…

Boundaries don’t block intimacy—they invite real intimacy.

Without boundaries, we end up in this weird tangle of people-pleasing and resentment.

With boundaries, we can both love and honour each other as whole humans.

Here’s the tricky part though:

Many of us learned early on that staying quiet kept us ‘safe’.

Maybe as a child, speaking up wasn’t an option.

But you’re an adult now.

And you get to choose differently.

You get to be treated well—because you deserve to be treated well.

You’re worthy of respect, kindness, and love, simply because you are.

And yes, anger (that much-misunderstood emotion) is a big part of this.

Anger isn’t bad—it’s your inner protector.

Your energetic guard dog.

It’s the emotional fuel that helps you say, ‘No, not today.’

If you’ve been taught to fear or suppress your anger, please go listen to Episode 6—it’ll change your whole perspective.

Here’s the beautiful thing about boundaries:

They allow you to fully merge and connect with others—without losing yourself in the process.

In a mature, healthy relationship, boundaries aren’t walls between you.

They’re bridges.

They expand to include the other person—without sacrificing your own needs or identity.

You can hold space for both joy and pain, for love and differences.

You can meet in the middle, fully present and fully yourself.

We’re not here to shed or abandon our boundaries in the name of ‘oneness.’

We’re here to strengthen them, to honour them, to breathe life into them—so they support not just our highest good, but the highest good of everyone involved.

And if you’re wanting to go deeper into how our relationships help us evolve personally and spiritually, have a listen to Episode 7.

I teach you how to see the mirror reflections in your closest relationships, so you can use those interactions to heal what needs to be healed.

So whether it’s a relationship with your partner, or in relationship with your child, boundaries can serve your family in so many ways.

An example of this, is that I usually get up and practice some yoga before my husband and son wake up.

But for a while there, when my son woke, he’d come out to me and jump onto me for a hug.

Now I love morning cuddles.

But if I’m in a yoga pose, jumping onto me isn’t safe for my body.

I could get injured.

So I set a loving boundary with my son.

I let him know I really want to do morning cuddles, but he needs to check in with me before he hurls himself onto me, in case I’m in a precarious position.

Now he knows to wait until I come out of that pose, and then he gets my full presence, and the morning cuddles he wants from me.

In this way, he’s learning how to respect others, how to check in with them; lessons he will take into the schoolyard and beyond.

And I get to feel safe in my yoga practice, and having that time to fill myself up.

So, my love, here’s my invitation:

Take an honest, loving look at your life.

Where do you need to set a boundary—whether with yourself, your loved ones, your phone, your work, or your inner critic?

Where do you need to say, ‘This is what I need to feel good?’

And as you explore this… remember…

Boundaries aren’t selfish.

They’re sacred.

They’re the foundation for freedom, connection, and radiant, unapologetic self-love.

Your boundaries aren’t just fences—they’re the garden walls that protect your most beautiful blooms.

So please…

Use them wisely.

If this episode awoke something in you, I’d love to hear about it!

Just over to my Social Media and leave a comment.

I reply to all of them.

And if you are ready to start deepening your relationship with yourself even more, come check out my Self-Love Starter’s Kit—it includes four delicious practices to help you set soulful boundaries, nurture your body, and come home to yourself.

You’ll find all the details in the show notes below or my website gettingnaked.com.au

And if you loved this episode, pretty please leave a review or a rating—it helps spread this work to more people who need it.

Until next time—go love yourself fiercely and set those boundaries like the queen that you are.