Embrace your feminine: Is your approach to life too masculine?

Tamra MerciecaBlogs, Relationship HealthLeave a Comment

As many of you know I LOVE swing dancing!

Growing up somewhat of a tomboy (playing drums and racing cars) I took a very masculine approach to life.

When I say masculine, I mean I was very goal orientated, very driven and very active in pursuing that which I desired.

For many people this would have been seen as a positive trait.

But when it came to learning to swing dance, I suddenly needed to learn a new way of being.

For anyone who has given partner dancing a go – especially swing dancing – the moves are not choreographed, they are led by the man.

What this means for the woman, is that she must follow.

She must allow the man to take charge and direct her across the dance floor.

He decides the moves.

Now what’s important to understand here, is this:

To follow does not mean to be passive.

It means to receive the direction and allow your body to move and respond accordingly; to be shown the way and surrender into the move; to let your feminine bring beauty to the move you’re being guided into.

As I learnt, this takes practice.

A LOT of practice.

Having been such a go-getter with me making all the decisions in my life, I found it really difficult to let go and surrender to the man on my arm.

Yet it is this kind of feminine surrender that allows us to experience a new side of ourselves.

When we give someone else permission to step into their masculine it gives us the space to connect with our feminine.

The reason I share this with you this week, is because many women today are taking a very masculine approach to life.

They are out there getting things done, which is great, but they are not creating the time and space to nurture their feminine side.

Every man and every woman has both a masculine and a feminine inside of them.

In order for us to be balanced, happy and fulfilled in life, we need to embrace both sides of ourselves, regardless of which sex you are.

To be masculine ONLY, is to do a LOT of work and to really push your way through life.

This can lead to controlling and dominating behaviours, aggression, recklessness, even bullying.

It can also get us addicted to results and climbing the corporate ladder.

On the other end of the scale, to ONLY be feminine is to not get much done at all.

While you may have insightful moments you will fail to act on them.

You could become sulky, demanding, manipulative, become dependent on another person and be known as a ‘drama queen’.

Yet when we embrace both our masculine and feminine sides we are able to enjoy the intuitive insights and calm clarity that will allow us to take the exact actions we need in order to receive our desired result.

There is real value in allowing yourself to be still, to be vulnerable, to allow yourself the time to simply be in your heart (as opposed to being in your head thinking all the time).

To live in perfect harmony is to marry our masculine to our feminine; to value and allow in both sides of ourselves.

What’s also important to realise, is that if we are too in our masculine, then if we’re in a relationship with a man, it could stop him from embracing his masculine.

There is only so much room in a relationship for masculinity, be that in a relationship with ourself or with someone else, before that relationship becomes unhealthy.

For a relationship to be healthy and nourishing, there needs to be the freedom for both people to move in and out of their masculine and feminine.

To be allowed to express all of themselves.

Without this, both people will feel a part of them is constantly in need, constantly lacking.

You feel like you need the other person to feel complete.

As you’ll read in my blog ‘Couple complete: Are you whole on your own?’, we should never need another person to feel complete.

When we embrace both our masculine and feminine we are complete.

We are happy.

We feel deeply nourished.

And that is the basis for a healthy relationship with YOU and a healthy relationship with someone else.

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