You’d never tell your best friend she’s failing.  That she’s not enough, too emotional, or falling behind. At least, I hope you wouldn’t. So why is it that for most people, that voice still echos inside their own head — on repeat, day after day?

With two days until World Mental Health Day, we’re getting radically honest about that inner dialogue — and why the way we speak to ourselves matters more than we’ve been taught to believe. Because self-love? It’s not fluffy. It’s not self-indulgent. It’s life-saving. It’s foundational to our mental health.

So if you’ve ever wondered how self-love really impacts how you feel — about yourself, your life, your worth — this episode of I Love Me, is for you.

 

Simple, inspiring lessons in self-love. Hello gorgeous, it’s Tamra here.

This Friday is World Mental Health Day.

And I want to begin by saying:

If you’ve been feeling a little stretched, a little numb, a little like you’ve been running on fumes… you’re not alone.

Mental health isn’t just about diagnoses or therapy sessions.

It’s about how you feel in yourself.

How you carry yourself through your day.

It’s about the thoughts that run through your mind when you’re brushing your teeth or folding the washing or lying awake at 3am.

And often, those thoughts aren’t exactly kind.

They whisper things like:

You’re falling behind.

You should be doing more.

Everyone else seems to be coping just fine.

But here’s the truth:

Mental health begins with how you treat yourself when no one else is watching.

It begins with the words you whisper inside your own head.

And honestly, most people are not talking to themselves like someone they love.

I overcame severe depression in my 20s – I share my experience in Episode 32: Bye Bye Blues… My Journey Out Of Depression.

If you’re looking for a solid pathway out of the dark, this episode will light the path.

But it was through my own personal experience, and two decades following that helping others overcome their mental health issues, that one thing is obvious:

We can’t thrive on self-criticism.

Only self-love creates a solid foundation for our mental health and wellbeing.

That inner voice?

The one that says you’re not doing enough, not good enough, not loveable unless you’re endlessly productive or always calm or perfectly healed?

That’s not your truth.

That’s programming.

I share how this programming comes about in Episode 2: Programmed for Love, so you really understand what’s going on under the surface of the negative chatter.

But the great thing about this programming, is that it can be rewritten.

We live in a culture that worships busyness.

I talked in depth about this in Episode 68, and offer some tools for how to get out of the busy mindset.

Because often, we’re praised for being the woman who ‘does it all.’

But constantly juggling it all — and judging ourself for not juggling it well enough — is exhausting.

So on this Mental Health Day, I want to ask:

What if you stopped trying to earn your worth through doing?

What if you didn’t have to hold everything together all the time?

What if your value was never up for negotiation — even on the messy, teary, slow days?

Because here’s what I know:

More doing doesn’t equal more joy.

More self-compassion, more softness, more permission to rest and be — that’s where joy begins.

How do we begin to shift that?

Well, the first step is awareness.

Start noticing how you talk to yourself.

You might even try this:

When a self-critical thought comes in — something like “You’re so behind” — ask yourself:

‘Would I say that to my best friend?’

If a thought is not of an encouraging, supportive nature, then you know that thought doesn’t belong in your mental landscape either.

So replace it with something more nourishing.

Not fake.

Not forced.

Just kinder.

Something like:

I’m doing my best.

It’s okay to be where I am.

My worth isn’t measured by how much I get done.

These are small phrases, but with repetition, they gently rewire how we think about ourselves.

Because our nervous system is listening.

Our heart is listening.

And the more we feed it loving thoughts, the more safety, calm and clarity we begin to experience — without needing the world around us to change.

And if you want step-by-step tips on how to change that negative chatter, have a listen to Episode 13: It’s Time To Edit Your Self-Talk.

So many people ask me:

‘What does self-love actually look like day-to-day?’

It looks like:

Setting boundaries around what drains you.

Saying ‘No’ when your body says no — even if your inner people-pleaser says Yes.

Choosing rest, not as a reward, but as a necessity.

Listening when your soul says:  ‘I need more gentleness.’

And sometimes, it looks like crying in the shower and still choosing to speak to yourself with kindness.

This isn’t about being perfect.

It’s about being real.

And being on your own team.

Being your own mental cheerleader!

So beautiful, here’s your invitation:

On this Mental Health Day, I invite you to take one small step toward your own softness.

Ask yourself:

What would bring me an exhale of relief right now?

What can I take off my plate?

What’s one thing I’d love more of in my world — and how could I welcome it in?

But most importantly…

How can I be kinder to myself.

Maybe it’s more time in nature.

More early nights.

More honest conversations.

Or just more quiet moments with your hand on your heart, whispering: ‘I’m here for you.’

Because this is the work.

Not ‘fixing’ yourself — but loving yourself more deeply, especially on the days you feel most broken.

So whatever your mind is telling you right now, please know this:

You are worthy of vibrant mental health.

Not just the absence of illness, but the presence of peace.

You are worthy of slowing down, of stepping out of the rush, of creating space for joy and rest and healing.

And if you’d like to walk this path with me more deeply, Remarkable Relationships is always here for you — because when we heal our relationship with ourselves, everything else starts to shift.

You’ll find all the details, client stories and payment plans here.

Prefer one-on-one support?

My One-on-One Intensive was originally created to support you in clearing depression, anxiety and the negative voice at the root cause.

Every client who has committed to this program is depression, anxiety and pill free by the end.

All the details and client experiences can be found here.

Finally…

If you wish to read my full journey out of depression I share it in my memoir The Upside of Down: A personal journey and toolkit for overcoming depression. 

This book was endorsed by Lifeline Australia and the SA Mental Health Minister and shares the steps I took to overcome the depression, in an easy to apply, down-to-earth way.

Until next time,

I’m sending you love, gentleness and space to breathe.

Because you know what…

You’re doing better than you think.