Ep.13 It’s time to edit your self-talk.

Tamra MerciecaPodcastLeave a Comment

You know those pesky thoughts (what I call ‘self-talk’) that make you feel bad about yourself… The ones that bring down your self-love, self-worth and self-respect…

Well… you don’t have to have those thoughts playing on repeat anymore. In fact, you can become a self-talk editor. Yes, you can edit out your negative self-talk, and today on I Love Me The Podcast, I teach you how!

I’d like begin today’s episode by asking:

What is the most common soundtrack playing in your head today?

Have a think about it now….

What are the thoughts that pop up regularly?

What are you telling yourself…on repeat!

Because that’s what happens, right?

Our mind keeps on saying the same thing, sometimes day in, day out.

According to scientific estimates we hear our subconscious thoughts repeating at a rate of 60,000 to 80,000 times a day.

Ain’t that a lot of thoughts!

Now, while thoughts and thinking are inevitable, what we think about, is choosable!

Of course, that doesn’t mean it’s always easy to change our thoughts.

But it’s certainly doable.

And totally worth it.


Because the thoughts we think have a direct influence on the way our mind and body wire itself.

For example, if we keep thinking negative things about ourself, then guess what, we keep thinking negative things about ourself.

Our thinking patterns become just that, patterns.

They repeat.

Not just for days, or weeks.

But for most people we’re talking years and decades.

Until… we interrupt them.

Until we change the belief, that is causing the thought pattern.

Because where do thoughts come from?

They come from our ‘limiting beliefs’.

If you’ve listened to episode 2, where I speak about how we’re programmed with certain belief systems as a child, you’ll know that our thinking patterns haven’t come about by accident.

They’ve been quite literally installed into our subconscious mind.

And it’s this collection of beliefs – that we’ve taken on from the people and world around us – that essentially becomes our operating system for life.

But like any good computer system, it can be rewritten.

So that we stop the endless cycle of negative thoughts.

We end the doom and gloom soundtrack of the mind.

And in doing so, start to think more positively.

More expansively.

And why would we want to take the time to change the soundtrack of our mind?

Because this soundtrack influences not only our mental health – so how we feel in any given moment…

It also influences and shapes our physical health.

Scientists have found that the words we think have the power to influence the expression of our genes.

Over time the structure of our thalamus – a small gland near the centre of our brain, that relays sensory information – it will change in response to our conscious words, thoughts, and feelings.

This in turn, changes the way in which we perceive reality.

What I’m saying here, is that the more we think negatively, the more negativity we experience in life.

It’s kinda like we become a negativity magnet, so to speak.

But, on the upside, the more we think positive, loving thoughts, the more positivity we experience in life.

Now, you might be saying, but I can’t change my thoughts.

And yes, it can be difficult, absolutely.

And that’s why one of my key teachings in the Remarkable Relationships program I run with my online school Getting Naked, is to teach people how to change their beliefs, because once you change your beliefs, then you think different thoughts.

Let me say that again:

When you change your beliefs, you think different thoughts.

And this has been the quickest way I’ve found to move from a negative mental soundtrack to a positive one.

So getting into the subconscious and changing beliefs is a really powerful way to think more kindly of yourself.

And when you do change beliefs by directly accessing the subconscious, you’re able to completely pull the belief up from the roots, so it’s gone.

Like when you’re weeding a garden.

If you only pull out what you can see above the surface, then in a few months those plants will grow back, because the roots were left there.

But if you dig up the roots, then the weed can’t grow back.

Because the weed’s not there any more.

And that’s essentially the method I teach when it comes to clearing beliefs.

Because who wants to have old gunky beliefs growing all over your garden of positivity.

Clear them out once, and it’s done.

Belief gone.

But it needs to be dug out of the subconscious.

Because it’s our subconscious that is where our beliefs are stored.

That’s why the subconscious is responsible for 90% of our thoughts, actions and behaviours.

The subconscious is our operating system, or in terms of the gardening metaphor… it’s our soil.

You can’t see what’s beneath the surface, so you need a way of accessing what’s underneath your conscious awareness.

You need a ‘spade’ so to speak!

Some ‘tools’ to help you dig into the subconscious and clear it out.

And it’s these kinds of tools I teach my clients.

Another way to clear beliefs – and this way does take a bigger commitment, as it can take some time – but the other way, is to simply choose to think differently.

Now, this is a conscious way of clearing beliefs.

And we need to remember, that our conscious mind is only responsible for 10% of our thoughts, actions and behaviours…

That’s why using this conscious approach, does take longer and takes more energy.

But this way can work, if you’re committed to it.

So how do we choose to think differently?

Well, firstly we need to start to become aware of our thoughts.

Thoughts are the symptom of a belief that’s stored in our subconscious mind.

So thoughts are a really good indicator of our internal programming.

So we start to notice our thoughts.

Notice the ones that play out more regularly, the ones that are more negative in nature.

The thoughts that essentially make you feel bad.

The ones that are not so loving.

Shining conscious awareness on this unconscious process, is the first step.

And I say ‘unconscious’ process, because most of the time, we don’t consciously tell ourself to think all the thoughts we think.

It happens automatically.

And it happens automatically, based on the beliefs – the programming – stored in our subconscious mind.

Because remember, it’s our subconscious mind that’s responsible for 90% of our thoughts, actions and behaviours.

So our thoughts are being fed into our conscious awareness.

Once you notice a negative thought, then choose a different thought.

A more positive thought that would support you in being kinder to yourself.

A thought that feels empowering for you.

For example, if you did something that you wish you hadn’t, and the thought is ‘I’m such an idiot’.

Notice it.

Don’t give it any of your energy.

It’s just a thought.

It’s NOT true.

You’re not an idiot.

Just because you may feel like an idiot doesn’t mean that’s the intrinsic truth.

It’s just a bit of programming that was taken on in error when you were young, that you don’t need to judge or accept.

Instead, choose a more loving thought, such as:

‘It’s true that I didn’t get the result I wanted, but I’ve learnt so much from this experience. And that learning has taught me what not to do in future. I’m not an idiot. I’m a human, always learning, always evolving. And my willingness to love and accept myself on this learning journey is what matters.’

Then you may want to choose a little mantra to play with, such as ‘I’m learning and growing every day’.

Or ‘I’m a good person who always aims to do my best’.

Find a phrase that you can get behind.

Something that doesn’t feel like a complete lie to you right now.

So for instance, if saying ‘I’m brilliant’ just feels like you’re being fake, find a phrase like I mentioned, that you can believe in.

‘I’m getting better and better each day.’

Or something that only stretches your belief muscle a little bit.

Becoming an editor of your thoughts, is such a powerful activity, as it helps you become more aware of what you’re thinking.

Once we have awareness, we can make edits.

So firstly, notice the negative thoughts.

Pinpoint the most common ones.

Then choose positive, more empowering thoughts, and let them become your mantra for the day.

Maybe the negative thought is:

’No-one values me’.

And so you can choose to think differently about this.

Maybe you say to yourself:

‘I’m not feeling valued right now by those around me, but I know that I am of value. And I’m going to start with valuing myself more. I’m going to find the value in me.’

Because maybe you can’t see your value right now, and that’s ok.

You simply need to be more open to seeing it.

So a mantra you could say to yourself regularly for the next few days might be:

I choose to value myself.


I choose to see my value a little more each day.

Then anytime that old thought pops into your conscious mind, you choose to edit out that thought pattern, and replace it with your new mantra.

Now what supercharges this process, and makes it heaps more effective, is if you can feel that new thought.

Imagine what it would be like to always know you’re doing your best, and feel that feeling in your body.

What does it feel like to value yourself.

Imagine it.

Feelings are energy.

And energy transforms, far quicker that just thought alone.

So the more we can get our feelings behind a new thought, the quicker it will be adopted by our subconscious.

And why do we want our subconscious to adopt this new thought, this new belief?

Because our subconscious is what creates the majority of our thoughts.

When we’re busy doing life, our subconscious is working away creating thoughts.

So we need to convince our subconscious that this new thought is better than the old gunky thought, so it can update its operating system.

Our computer needs updates from time to time, and so too does our inner operating system need updates to keep it serving us and moving us forward in the direction we wish to head.


Don’t be surprised if those old thoughts keep rearing their head many times each day.

And each day after that…

By choosing a new thought, we’re not overriding the programming that keeps sending us these error thoughts.

But we can keep correcting them.

And then at some point, if we are diligent in our self-talk editing, the computer program that is responsible for our subconscious mind – will say:

‘Hold on, I keep getting corrected here, this must be the new thought I’m meant to adopt.’

And so it becomes your new programming.

What can also happen when we start out on this self-talk editing journey, is that we can get distracted.

When our brain forms patterns it outsources tasks to our subconscious mind so we can perform them with less effort.

This is why when we try to give up a habit it can be tricky.

Thinking is a habit.

So is smoking, for example.

You decide to go cold turkey and give up the cigarettes.

It’s all going well but then you get stressed, life gets busy, and so your subconscious kicks in, and before you know it you’re holding a cigarette taking a puff.

Your body was so hardwired to use cigarettes as stress-relief, that as soon as you got distracted, that’s what it did.

Consciously you know you want to give up, but your brain’s like; ‘This is how we deal with stress, when we don’t have the conscious space to do it. We smoke.’

In order to break that habit, you need to do some rewiring, and change your beliefs, and in that way, change your habits.

And it’s the same with thinking patterns.

So like I said, this second method of clearing beliefs can feel a little tedious at times, it can feel like one step forward, two steps back, but it does work if you’re committed to the process.

If each time you slip back into a gunky thinking pattern, you decide to correct it, even if you fell off the bandwagon a few days ago, then eventually the new belief will sink into your subconscious.

So keep editing those thoughts.

Choose ones that make you just want to give yourself a super big hug.

Because you’re so worth it.

Next week, we’ll be diving into our ‘feelings’.

I’ll share why it’s vital to feel our feelings, and give you a tangible method of doing it in a way that feels safe and empowering.

Until then, if what I’m sharing resonates with you, I would be so grateful if you could leave a short review or rating.

Thanks for listening.

And if you’re loving what I’m sharing on I Love Me The Podcast, and want to dive deeper into self-love, take a peek at my online school gettingnaked.com.au where I teach you how to strip off the layers of childhood conditioning, so you can fall in love with YOU.

Sign up for your free Self-Love Starter’s Kit there, and if you do enrol in any of my programs, know that a percentage of profits go to planting trees, so together we can re-robe Mother Earth.

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