Self love. We hear the words thrown round all the time, but what does it really mean to love oneself?
Let me answer that for you…
To love oneself means to accept, respect and believe in all that you are.
When you have deep self love you have this inner knowing that anything is possible, and because of this, your life is full of happiness, joy and positive relationships with others.
When you lack self love, you doubt yourself and your abilities.
Chances are you’ll criticise yourself unnecessarily.
Perhaps it’ll just be negative thoughts, but said in your head or out loud, it’s still a put-down that knocks your confidence out of alignment.
We spend all this time focusing on our relationships with others, instead of focusing on the most important relationship we have.
Our relationship with our fabulous self.
Watch today’s vlog to find out why this relationship is so important.
So lets have look at the three keys to self love in a little more detail:
1. Self acceptance
You know you accept yourself when you can look in the mirror and honestly say: ‘I love that gorgeous lady/gentleman looking back at me’.
Accepting yourself isn’t about getting a super fit bod and plastic surgery to boot.
It’s about clearing the barriers you have around accepting yourself, just the way you are.
I love the Wabi Sabi view: See the perfection in imperfection.
When you learn to love who you are – emotional outbursts, problem skin and all the jazz that comes along with being human – you give yourself the acceptance needed to embody self love.
Without this kind of acceptance, you’ll spend your life chasing after things to make you look better and feel better.
Marketing companies and the media know this, and capitalise on this need to feel love; making you think their products and services will fill that void.
The only thing that will fill that void, and stop you craving what you don’t have, is to accept what you do have.
2. Self respect
When a person respects himself or herself, it means they put themselves first… ALWAYS!
This is not selfish, this is self preservation.
Just imagine giving away all of your fuel to someone stopped on the side of the road.
Where does that lead you?
Same goes for self love.
To put oneself first, is to ensure you have the energy and love (and fuel) to give more to others.
When you respect yourself, you’re not afraid to set boundaries either.
You say ‘No’ if something doesn’t feel right, without needing to justify your decision.
You realise that only YOU know what is best for you.
That is what self respect looks like.
3. Self belief
To believe in oneself means to know that you are the signature designer of your own life.
You have the ability and know-how to create the life you desire, frills and all.
‘Happily-ever-after’ is your way of life, not just something you dream about after watching your favourite chick-flick.
In life there will be challenges.
But when you have self belief, no matter what’s thrown your way, you find the learning in the obstacle and continue on.
The interesting thing is, when you believe in yourself, others believe in you too.
It’s like people pick up on your internal belief.
They gravitate towards it.
The equation is simple:
Self acceptance + self respect + self belief = self love.
Once you have all three, then self love is something you can bask in.
Self love sets the foundation for the rest of your life.
If you lack self love you will constantly feel unsatisfied.
You will feel you need things in order to be happy and content and fulfilled.
I can’t say it enough: ‘Self love is the only thing that can stop the craving and striving and needing.’
So stop looking external for love, and start getting your internal feng shui set to self love.
Not sure where to start?
And if you do want to want a hand embodying self love, email firstname.lastname@example.org to line up your complimentary chat on how I can work with you to clear the barriers stopping you loving YOU!