Affairs of the heart can be even more harmful than physical affairs – and given that 70% of all marriages experience an extra-marital affair (according to Sexual Health Australia) I felt the need to shed some light on what an emotional affair actually is, and what’s needed to stop your relationship from becoming a shocking statistic.
So lets first look at what an emotional affair is…
An emotional affair is emotional intimacy as opposed to physical intimacy that creates distance in the marriage.
If a person develops feelings for another person – falls in love with them even – then continues to see and interact with that person, they’re having an emotional affair.
The key signs that your partner is cheating on you, be it emotionally or physically are: Late nights spent at the office, excessive time spent with one person, emotional withdrawal from you, secrecy or deception or increased phone activity – they’re on their phone more and don’t feel comfortable with you hearing their conversations or telling you who their texts or calls are from.
Now I certainly don’t recommend snooping on their phone for proof.
The only reason a person hides something is fear around how you will react.
So my advice is to work towards having a transparent relationship where everything is out in the open.
No secrets.
No lies.
You want complete, 100% truth and honesty.
Without it, what’s the point?
In order to affair-proof your relationship, start sharing more.
Really let the other person know what is happening for you on a deeper level.
Schedule in ‘connecting time’ to do this, if you find it difficult.
The more vulnerable you are with your partner, the more vulnerable they’ll be with you – and it’s that kind of vulnerability that creates the deep bonds that lead to strong and healthy relationships.
The only reason a person has an affair – be it emotional or physical – is because their needs and desires are not being met within their current relationship.
If you’re sharing your inner feelings regularly and giving your partner love, then any unhappiness gets resolved before it has the chance to turn into an affair.
People just want to be loved.
So give love to yourself and your partner, and neither of you will need to seek it elsewhere.
Relationships that stand the test of time are based on communication, honesty and love.
If you have all three of these (as well as some full body orgasmic sex) then your relationship will continue to grow and make you happy and fulfilled.
If you missed my spot on ‘emotional affairs’ on Channel 7’s The Morning Show last week, you can watch it here:
And if you are struggling to have a communicative relationship filed with love and honesty, then enrol in our Remarkable Relationships 3-month course, so I can teach you how.