Nothing works for me!
Ever thought this thought, or said these words out loud?
If there’s one thing that people say to me it’s this:
I’ve done stacks of self-development, but nothing works for me.
Now, while there are certainly courses out there that aren’t so great, many of the courses out there do work, at least to some degree.
It’s a rare course that I’ve come across, that doesn’t offer me some golden nugget, that when applied, can help me in my current endeavour.
(And I’ve done a LOT of courses in my time, because I am committed to my own growth and sharing what I learn with you!)
Where people run into problems, is that they complete the course, maybe they listen to the lessons, do a couple of the practices, and then wonder why they aren’t getting the results that the course promised.
‘Nothing works for me!’
Here’s why things aren’t working:
They haven’t embodied the teachings of that course.
Think of it this way…
You go to medical school.
You want to be a surgeon.
So you study the texts.
Maybe you do a few of the practical components, but outside of class, you don’t continue to study and apply what you learn to life.
You leave the study for ‘study time’.
Do you think you’re going to be a great surgeon?
Being a great surgeon takes commitment.
It takes a willingness to practise beyond what is asked of you.
It takes the dedication to do what whatever it takes to learn what you need to learn.
It takes a deep curiosity to want to learn from these teachings, and see them in action.
Well, being a surgeon and learning something online – maybe how to heal some part of your life – isn’t that much different.
Maybe you won’t be cutting people open with your scalpel, but you will be going deep into your own psyche.
In order to get good at life – or whatever it is you’ve chosen to study – you need to be willing to do what it takes to not only learn what you’re being taught, but take those lessons into your life.
Play with them.
I can guide someone through the most profoundly heart-opening healing sessions, but if they do nothing outside of our sessions – if they don’t apply those new learnings to their life, do their homeplay as I like to call it – then nothing shifts.
And yes, they will be left feeling that ‘Nothing works for me’.
In order to truely get your money’s worth out of a course, you need to immerse yourself in the teachings of that course.
If you want to learn French, sure you can move to France for the full immersion experience.
But if you don’t then practise your French with the people you meet, if you choose only to hang out with English speaking friends (cause that feels safer, right?), if you don’t actively continue to learn, listen to and get curious about the French language, then you won’t learn French.
You need to be willing to do the work.
Not dip in a toe, then claim ‘Nothing works for me’ before you’ve had a chase to really dive in.
It’s the same with any online course.
When I was leaning to tune into my heart and clear my own limiting beliefs – two foundational tools I teach in the Remarkable Relationships course – I struggled.
Like really struggled.
Did I give up?
I got myself a private mentor who could help me clear the blocks that were keeping me from really getting what I was learning in my training.
I practised every day.
Not just once.
I had a dedicated practice twice a day AND I practised tuning in throughout my day.
Study wasn’t just something I did in ‘study time’, I applied everything I was learning to my life.
And eventually, I got it.
That is how I was then able to change my life.
I was able to heal my mind and body, relationships, change my circumstances, and learn how to easily manifest what I wanted, when I wanted.
But I’ll be honest…
It wasn’t always easy.
It took practise.
And then more practise.
And yes, there were feelings along the way of ‘Nothing works for me’.
But when those thoughts showed up, I refused to entertain them.
For we will all have negative thoughts pop up when we’re learning something new.
It’s tricky, and sometimes downright hard, because we’ve never done it before.
Babies need to fall over many times, before they get their toddle on!
Not many people get things first go.
They need to practise, and then practise some more.
Learning anything takes practise, for the majority of people.
So to simply enrol in a course, and listen to the lessons…
It’s not enough.
Not if you want to get results.
We live in a world that is so full of opportunities to learn from all sorts of sources.
We have so much choice on what we can learn, where we can learn it, and how we learn it.
We have never been so fortunate, as we are today, to have all these amazing resources at our fingertips.. literally.
So why then are people not getting the results they sign up for?
Because they’re not taking what they learn, and applying it directly to their life.
And continuing to apply it until it works.
For there is usually at least a small lag time between when you learn something and apply it, and when you see results.
That said, you can certainly reduce this lag time, when you get good at applying what you learn.
But in the beginning, there can be this lag time.
And often people give up right before they start to see results.
Things get difficult, or they get distracted or they feel blocked in some way…
They think: ‘Nothing works for me’.
And so they turn their attention to something else.
Often they were right on the verge of a breakthrough, when they threw in the proverbial towel.
I speak more about this in my blog: Understanding Self-Sabotage.
But here’s the thing…
If you keep going, if you decide that you’re willing to do what it takes, and then some…
If you’re committed to the results you signed up for…
Then you WILL see the fruits of your labour.
But you need to actually do the course.
Do the study.
Do the homeplay.
And immerse yourself in the teachings in any way you possibly can.
When I teach people how to clear limiting beliefs in my Remarkable Relationships course, I tell them to practise clearing a belief every day.
Very few people do the practice.
They might practise once a week and wonder why they’re not quite getting it.
It’s because they’re not practising enough.
It would be the same with learning French.
If you only practise speaking French once a week, well, your vocab will increase, gradually.
But it will be a really slow process, and because you’re not seeing great results, chances are you’ll probably give up.
You’ll think ‘Oh French isn’t for me’ or blame the course you’re using to study French, claiming ‘Nothing works for me’.
And there goes your weekly practice.
Whenever I learn something new, here’s what I do:
I immerse myself in that teaching for many months.
I don’t mix it with other teachings and enrol in a number of courses and pick and choose what I practise.
No, I dedicate myself to that one program.
Most often when people create a course, they create it as a system, that needs to be applied in its entirety to help you get the results you want.
When a person has three courses going at once, their energy is way too scattered to apply the teachings properly.
None of those courses has a chance of being given the full attention it requires.
So of course any results are haphazard and quite possibly, minimal.
We need to focus on just one course.
Follow the teachings week-by-week.
Then apply them some more.
Re-listen to the teachings and lessons.
Because it’s impossible to fully take in everything on a first listen.
We need repetition to really take in the full depth of that offering.
I’m currently studying Meridian Massage.
I practise using points on myself every day.
When my son or husband have an ailment, I practise massaging specific points that may help ease their woes.
And as a result of this, I’m able to not just ‘memorise’ the points and know the information intellectually…
I’m able to actually see them in action, feel them, notice what works and what doesn’t, reassess, play, and over time get a really good feel for what I’m doing.
My thinking about the principles, becomes an inside knowing, so that when my son comes home with a cough now, I’m not looking up my study notes, I know where to massage to help clear the pathogen.
So I say it again..
It doesn’t matter what you choose to study…
If you want results from that chosen subject, then you need to immerse yourself in the teachings.
Marinate in them.
Play with them.
Get curious about them.
Until you gain the confidence to use them with ease, as part of your life.
Not as something you do at certain times a couple of times a week.
But something that becomes part of how you do life.
Yes, weave those teachings into life.
Let them become a part of you.
If you struggle with certain bits, ask for help.
Get a mentor or coach or trainer to offer you some one-on-one help to guide you through the blocks.
I was really struggling with my French grammar when living in France, so I worked with a lady who specialised in teaching French to mums!
In that way, she was able to teach me my grammar so I could apply it directly to my parenting at the time.
When we moved to France my son was only 1, so I didn’t have a lot of free time.
What new mum does??
But I could still immerse, with reading children’s books in French, interacting with other parents at the playground, listening to French podcasts while cooking and doing a weekly lesson to help me understand why the French do what they do!
In this way, my tutor was able to cater my French vocab to how I could use it in every day life!
Ok, I think you get my point by now…
Simply enrolling in a course won’t get you results.
I know, I know, it’s so easy in today’s world to just click a button and gain a heap of inspirational content.
Content that could very well change your life!
But the truth is…
It’s what you do with those teachings and practices – what you do outside of those lessons – that will get you the results.
For there’s always something to learn and apply from any course you do.
I see it first hand with my courses here at The Getting Naked School…
The people who solely focus on the teachings in my courses and practise everyday…. they get results.
The people who dabble in the teachings, picking and choosing what they apply…
They generally get some results, but not the full results that perhaps that’d signed up for.
Was there something wrong with the course content?
The claim of ‘Nothing works for me’, is buried deep in the fact that the individual isn’t working for themself.
They’re not doing the work.
Or they’re not doing it as fully as is required for their particular situation.
Or maybe they’re mixing and matching it with other teachings or other methods, as opposed to seeing how this one method stands up on its own.
It’s much like a recipe for a cake.
If you’re following three different recipes, who knows what the cake is going to taste like in the end.
But if you stick to just one recipe, then you know you’re going to get something that tastes alright.
And once you’ve tried it out, and know what it can offer you, then you can tinker and play with it.
That really is the approach I take when I embark on a new learning path.
I fully immerse in that teaching method.
And only once I’ve really exhausted what it has to offer, then I try mixing it with other methods I’ve explored previously.
Otherwise, I can’t say that I actually know what that stand-alone method can give me.
What I’m saying, is that when you mix and match methods or teachings, before you’ve given them your full commitment, then you end up with a watered-down result.
In order to get results in life, we need to immerse, be curious and play with what we’re learning.
Put our whole heart into it.
So before you enrol in another course, or go back over one you’ve already enrolled in, but couldn’t find the time for….
Where in my life can I make room to allow for a full immersion into this new area of study?
When you create time and space, when you’re willing to go above and beyond and embody the teachings; invite them into your life…
Then the results you wish for, will be yours!
I hope this blog helps you in moving from course-junkie to course-immerser!
Oh and remember, when that little voice pops in and says ‘Nothing works for me’, replace ith with this question:
How can this work for me?