Success. It’s the shiny word plastered across billboards, woven into glossy magazine spreads, and whispered in boardrooms and school assemblies alike.

We’re taught to chase it, from the moment we can walk. Get the gold star at school. The straight A’s. The promotion. The house. The car. The six-figure salary. The six-pack abs. The picture-perfect family holiday in Bali with matching linen outfits and sun-kissed tans.

But here’s the thing nobody tells you: For many of us, it’s not the lack of success that makes us stressed. It’s the endless need to be seen as successful. And darling, that pressure? That illusion? It’s exhausting.

That’s why today on I Love Me The Podcast, we’re diving into what it really means to be ‘successful’. And just a heart’s up: It’s not about bank balances or follower counts. It’s about something far juicier, softer, and infinitely more sustainable.

 

Simple, inspiring lessons in self-love. Hello gorgeous, it’s Tamra here.

Let me start by saying this:

If you’ve ever felt that inner pull to be seen as successful, you’re not alone.
It’s not a flaw, it’s not weakness—it’s human.

We’ve all been shaped by a society that equates success with external markers:

Titles, possessions, achievements.

Of course we crave the gold star.

Of course we want the nod of approval.

But here’s where it gets tricky.

When success is defined only by what others can see, we lose touch with what truly matters to us.

And that’s where the stress creeps in—the constant proving, performing, and perfecting.

Which brings me to…

The Social Costume of Success.

Think about how society paints success.

Success is the corner office.

The four-bedroom house with the white picket fence.

The high-achieving kids in private schools.

The passport full of stamps.

And yet, how many people do you know who’ve ticked all those boxes—and are still secretly miserable?

I’ve worked with many clients who have everything society could dream up for them.

CEO title.

Million-dollar home.

A car that looks like it belongs in a Bond film.

The perfect body.

But you know what they all feel deep down?
Empty.

Like they’re living someone else’s life.

Or that they’re simply going through the motions, without experiencing any true joy.

Like they’re sprinting on a treadmill that only gets faster, but never actually gets them anywhere.

That’s the catch with society’s version of success…

It’s a moving target.

As soon as you hit one milestone, the next one appears.

And if you stop running?

Well, suddenly, you feel like you’re failing.

So why then are we so hooked on being seen?

Why do we cling so tightly to society’s definition of success—even when it’s breaking us?

It comes down to this:

We want to be seen.

As children, we were rewarded for achievements.

Gold stars.

Certificates.

Proud nods from our parents.

Somewhere along the line, we learned that our worth was tied to external validation.

So as adults, we keep chasing it.

The promotions, the shiny car, the curated Instagram feed.

Not necessarily because we want them… but because we want others to think we’re doing well.

But here’s the major problem with this…

Our obsession with being seen as successful is one of the biggest sources of stress in our modern lives.

It makes us overwork, overcommit, overspend, and overthink.

It disconnects us from who we really are—because we’re too busy performing for someone else’s applause.

So, let’s pause for a moment….

And ask the juicier question:

What if success isn’t about what the world sees?
What if it’s about how deeply you feel connected to yourself?

In the spiritual sense, true success is alignment.

It’s when your outer life reflects your inner truth.

It’s waking up and knowing you’re living from your heart, not your head—or your neighbour’s expectations.

Success is not the money in your bank account, but the peace in your body.

It’s not about how many likes you get on your post, but how much love you hold for yourself when no one’s watching.

It’s not climbing to the top of a mountain for others to cheer.

It’s sitting in the quiet of your own heart and feeling at home.

When you start living by this definition, something magical happens.

The frantic chasing stops.

The constant stress of ‘not enough’ dissolves.

And in its place, you find freedom.

So how do we actually do this?

How do we redefine success in daily life?

How do we shift from chasing society’s version of success, to embodying our own soulful definition?

Here are three practices to play with:

Number 1:

Ask yourself: Who am I doing this for?

Before you say yes to a new project, a purchase, or even an Instagram post, pause and ask:

Am I doing this for me, or for how I want others to see me?

Number 2:

Tune into your body.

Your body is the ultimate compass.

Does saying ‘yes’ to this opportunity make you feel light and expansive?

Or tight and contracted?

Your body always knows what’s aligned.

Number 3:

Define your own success statement.

Take a quiet moment and write:

“I know I’m successful when…”

Don’t write what society tells you.

Write what your soul whispers.

It might be:

When I feel peace in my heart.

Or… when I have time to walk barefoot in the grass every day.

Or… when I can express myself creatively and feel deeply connected to the people I love.

These are the milestones that matter.

But let’s be honest…

It takes courage to let go of society’s definition of success.

Because when you do, some people won’t get it.

They might raise an eyebrow when you choose more time over more money.

Like when my little family moved to France when my son was 1 and my husband and I chose to be at home with our son, as opposed to chasing the money.

I cherish this decision with all my heart, even though it meant we took what may be considered ‘a step backwards’ financially.

I’m so grateful for that decision, because I got to be fully there for my son, as we explored a new country together.

It’s not at all uncommon for people who step onto the spiritual path, to downsize their house in a bid to upgrade their freedom.

I once longed for a mansion and after living in a huge house, I now prefer a cute little cottage style home, as it gives me more time, and more freedom to explore what truely matters to me.

It also means I can be closer to my family.

And at some point, when you embark on this ambitious endeavour of redefining success, you realise that it’s more important to celebrate a quiet moment of self-love, instead of a flashy promotion.

The important thing to remember is:

Everyone else’s opinion is not your compass.

The more you release the need to be seen as ‘successful’, the more successful you actually become—because you’re finally living in harmony with yourself.

So, maybe success isn’t about climbing ladders or ticking boxes after all.

Maybe it’s about how deeply you’re connected to your own heart.

How willing you are to show up as you—messy, magical, authentic you.

Because when you live from that place, you’re not chasing success… you’re embodying it.

So, my love, take a moment to ask yourself:

What does success mean for me?

Take a breath.

Feel into your heart.

Write it down.

Maybe do some journalling or meditate on it; I’ll pop links below to episodes that teach you how to journal and meditate if they are new to you.

Episode 20: Journaling. The Cheapest Therapy Around.

Episode 41: Chasing Cars Around Your Head? Let’s Meditate.

And maybe—just maybe—take a step towards living it today.

If this episode spoke to you, I’d love for you to share it with someone who might need the reminder today.

Don’t forget to hit follow, leave a review, or tag me on Instagram with your own definition of success—I love seeing how these conversations ripple out into the world.

And if you want to go deeper into exploring your worthiness, and how you can shift your perspective of how worthy you are, I have a great little episode for you.

It’s Episode 23: Stop Measuring Your Worth And Love Yourself Instead.

Until next time, keep shining from the inside out.

For that kind of success is what the world really needs right now.