So you’re searching for inner peace. Or maybe just a little more calm in a world that never seems to slow down. But how do you find that still point inside yourself when the to-do list is endless, your inner critic is loud, and your mind won’t quit spinning?
That’s where today’s topic comes in: Zen. And how you can become your very own Zen Master. Yes, today on I Love Me the Podcast, we’re diving into the ancient – yet totally relevant – teachings of Zen Buddhism. Exploring how this path of simplicity, presence, and self-inquiry can lead you back to something we all long for: Friendship with ourself.
And if you think becoming a Zen master is just for monks in robes or people who can sit still for hours… don’t worry, we’re bringing it down to earth. With a whole lot of self-love.
Simple, inspiring lessons in self-love. Hey my Zen friend, it’s Tamra here.
Let’s start with the obvious question:
What is Zen?
Zen is a school of Buddhism that came out of China, flourished in Japan, and basically got cool points in the West for its minimalist style and cryptic koans.
You know those quirky little riddles like, “What is the sound of one hand clapping?” or “The way is not in the sky. The way is in the heart.”
These little sayings are designed to short-circuit the busy mind and take you straight into presence.
Straight into you.
Because at the heart of Zen isn’t a doctrine or dogma—it’s a practice.
A way of being.
And if you strip it back (which, as you know, I’m a big fan of), what Zen is really pointing to… is friendship.
Not just friendship with a cat, or your houseplants, or even your mother-in-law on her best behaviour.
I’m talking about making friends with yourself.
Yes.
The real you.
The whole you.
The you who sometimes doubts and fears and eats peanut butter from the jar with a spoon (or is that just me?).
In Zen, you sit.
You breathe.
You watch.
And you notice.
You notice the thoughts, the emotions, the itchy foot, the urge to do anything but sit still.
You don’t try to fix it or change it or judge it.
You just… be with it.
Compassionately.
Gently.
Like you would with a scared little child or a best friend who’s having a wobble.
Sound familiar?
It’s what we do in self-love.
You see, Zen doesn’t ask you to be perfect.
It invites you to be present.
It doesn’t require you to have it all together—it encourages you to let it all fall apart and just breathe through it.
And in that space, in that silence, you discover something radical:
You are already enough.
Yep.
Right now.
As you are.
There’s a Zen master called Dogen who said, “To study the self is to forget the self. To forget the self is to be awakened by all things.”
What does that mean?
Well, when you stop clinging to who you think you ‘should’ be—and just start noticing who you are—something magical happens.
The noise drops.
The armour softens.
And you begin to fall… in love.
Not in the Disney princess, meet-a-prince kind of way.
In the deep, quiet, soul-soothing kind of way that says:
I see you. I’ve got you. I love you. Even here. Even now.
That’s self-love.
And that’s Zen.
Zen teaches us to meet each moment with openness, even when it’s uncomfortable.
Especially when it’s uncomfortable.
Which, let’s face it, is often what happens when we start doing this work.
You sit down to love yourself and BAM—up comes the shame, the old beliefs, the stuff you thought you’d buried under years of yoga and herbal tea.
But Zen says, stay.
Don’t flee.
Don’t numb yourself.
Don’t spiritual-bypass with incense and affirmations.
Just be with what is.
That’s the power.
That’s the healing.
And it’s also wildly liberating.
Because when you stop trying to be someone else and start loving who you already are—even the cranky, tired, bloated, PMS-y version—you become free.
Free to live.
Free to laugh.
Free to love from a place that isn’t trying to earn anything.
So I ask you:
How can you sprinkle a little Zen into your self-love journey?
Here are a few deliciously simple (but not always easy) invitations to support you in becoming your own Zen Master!
- Sit with yourself. No distractions. No phone. No agenda. Just you, your breath, and a bit of stillness. It can be five minutes. Or even one. The key is presence. I have a beautiful episode on meditation, it’s Episode 41: Chasing Cars Around Your Head? Let’s Meditate.
- Welcome everything. Yes, everything. Even the grumpy voice in your head that says you’re not good enough. Don’t argue with it. Just notice it, say hello, and let it pass through like the weather.
- Drop the striving. You don’t have to be a better version of yourself to be worthy. You’re already worthy. Start loving from that place. And you want to go deeper into the whole worthy conversation, I have another beautiful episode on this, it’s Episode 23: Stop Measuring Your Worth And Love Yourself Instead.
- Laugh often. Zen can be serious in practice, but it’s also full of humour. The more you can giggle at your Ego’s little dramas, the lighter everything feels. I have a whole episode on the medicine of laughter, it’s Episode 33: Could Laughter Be the Medicine Your Need Right Now?
- Trust the process. Some days you’ll feel enlightened. Some days you’ll feel like a potato in a dressing gown. Both are welcome. Keep showing up.
And if you’d like to go deeper into these teachings, you’ll find a beautiful Zen journey into self-love, inside my Way of Self-Love course.
This is a gorgeous program that invites you to make friends with yourself, the Zen way, so you can finally love and accept yourself, just the way you are.
So, my dear Zen warrior of self-love, as we wrap up today’s episode, remember this:
You don’t have to go to a monastery or shave your head or chant in ancient Japanese to practise Zen.
You just have to be willing.
Willing to sit with yourself.
To meet yourself.
To love yourself—even when it’s messy.
Especially when it’s messy.
Because when you do… that’s when the magic happens.
If this episode gave you a little lightbulb moment—or even just a cozy reminder to be kind to yourself—please take a moment to share it with someone you love.
It might be just what they need today.
And if you’re enjoying I Love Me the Podcast, it would mean the world to me if you’d leave a review, give it a little five-star love, or hit that follow button so you don’t miss future episodes.
Your support helps spread the self-love ripple far and wide.
Until next time, keep being beautifully, wonderfully YOU.