We are always in conversation with ourselves. Telling ourselves things about ourself and the world around us. Yet, for most people, this inner dialogue is of a somewhat negative nature. Our inner critic sure does like to make us feel bad about ourself, if we let it…

In today’s episode of I Love Me The Podcast I’ll share a beautiful bedtime practice to help you change that inner conversation to one that supports you and helps you feel nurtured, nourished and most importantly, loved.

Yes, today we learn how to use ‘words’ to deepen our love for yourself, through keeping a Love Journal. And the best bit is, it only takes a minute or two a day.

If you’ve listened to my previous episodes, especially number 25 where I shared why loving yourself is EVERYTHING, then you’re probably starting to realise that inviting a little more love into your life is not only a positive thing to do, but essential to your overall wellbeing.

So this week I want to share with you a very simple practice you can start doing today, that will begin to gently coax you into thinking more loving thoughts about yourself.

Because hey…

Self-love is a process.

The active process of being kind to ourself, learning to accept ourself and showing ourself compassion and love.

Regardless of what’s going on for us, at any given moment in time.

And a key part of being kind to ourself, is learning how to communicate more lovingly to ourself.

I‘m yet to meet anyone who doesn’t have some negative soundtrack playing out in their head.

Sprouting words like ‘I’m not good enough’, ‘I’m not loveable’ or ‘I’ll never get ahead in life’.

The problem with having a negative internal dialogue, is that it impacts everything we do, and everything we experience in life.

How we act and behave and respond to situations, depends entirely on the way we speak to ourself, both out loud, and in the privacy of our own head.

Yes, those thoughts we think; they play a HUGE role in how we feel about ourself.

Instead of feeling joyful and uplifted, the barrage of negative thoughts pull us down, drain us, and essentially lead to self-sabotaging or limiting behaviours.

Sooo…. let’s start the process of turning this around, by feeding ourselves some words saturated in love.

Words that will help you engage in a more positive dialogue with yourself.

A beautiful way of starting to break the habit of self-criticism and self-judgement, is by starting a Love Journal.

The Love Journal is an exercise – or a tool – I share with all of my one-on-one clients as a first step in changing their dialogue with themselves.

It’s simple, only takes a couple of minutes (or less), and if practised daily, has the ability to completely shift how you see yourself, so you can stop the self-hating, and start self-loving.

So firstly, you’ll need to get yourself a blank journal or notepad, as well as a pen, and keep them next to your bed.

Each night before you turn off the light to go to sleep, simply take a few minutes to write down THREE things you love about YOU!

Don’t think too hard.

See if you can allow the words to just spill out onto the page.

This exercise is about consciously being kind to yourself.

Consciously taking the time to say loving statements to yourself.

Reflect on the things you love, as opposed to focusing on the things you don’t love so much.

Because most people have a tendency to do a whole lot of internal beat-up.

And it’s this internal beat-up, that weakens our belief in ourself.

We need a strong self-belief in order to achieve and be happy.

So the things you write in your journal each night might be things like:

‘I love how I handled that situation today.’

‘I love that I’m gifting my body an early night’s rest.’

‘I love that when I ate that piece of chocolate cake I didn’t make myself feel guilty about it.’

‘I love that I was honest about my feelings with my partner today.’

‘I love that I got out of bed this morning.’

‘I love that I’m taking the time to write down three things I love about me before bed each night.’

Anything that you love… write it down.

It can be simple or playful.

‘I love that I danced off my stresses today.’

‘I love that I made someone laugh today.’

Or it can be a recognition that you got there.

‘I love that I got through the day today.’

By writing three positives before bed, you’re ending your day on a positive note.

Not only does that make you feel good, studies have shown that it can help you sleep better!

And that’s because one of the main causes of not being able to sleep, is because our head is full or negative, worrisome thoughts about our day and our life.

Too often we spend our time focusing on the negatives of our day, and we forget all the great things that happened.

And this can make it difficult to sleep, because we’re too busy re-running all the drama-infused events, which makes it near impossible for our beautiful little head to nod off to sleep.

So the idea with the Love Journal, is that we begin the process of reversing the negative self-talk and instead focus on the positives.

Because the more positive we think, the more positive our life will be.

Our thoughts really do create our physical reality, as I shared in last week’s episode.

Now… chances are, after a few nights you’ll feel like you can’t think of anything else to write down.

This happens to every single one of my clients!

So please know, if this happens to you, this is all part of the process, and not a reason to stop writing in your Love Journal.

When it starts to get difficult to find something new to write down, get creative!

Get grateful!

Think outside the box.

For example…

‘I love that I have a roof over my head.’

‘I love that I could afford to buy this notebook I’m writing on.’

‘I love how I feel when I’m out in nature.’

‘I love that I’m committing to this Love Journal.’

‘I love that I could see a few stars peeking through the clouds tonight’…

‘I love my big toe!’

One way to get the creative juices flowing, is to write down the six main ares of life EMOTIONS, HEALTH, RELATIONSHIPS, FINANCES, CAREER, and SPIRITUALITY.

Then find things you love about those different areas of your life.

Even if money is a struggle for you right now, it can be as simple as saying ‘I love that can afford to feed myself,’ or ‘I love that I have enough money to live.’

If you hate your job, you might write ‘I love that I have a job to get me by, until I find a job that truely inspires me’ or ‘I love that I get paid each week’.

If you’re having health issues, write down something that is working for you.

‘I love that I’m still breathing’.

‘I love that I have a body that carries me from A to B each day.’

When we focus on what we do have as opposed to what we feel we’re lacking, we move into a new energy that has us attracting more of what we want.

Because like attracts like.

If we want to be financially free, we need to feel rich from within.

And when we’re able to tap into our inner abundance, then we start to see more opportunities where we can increase our physical wealth.

But… that won’t happen, until you’re willing to…

COMMIT TO LOVE.

What I’m saying, is that you need to actually do this exercise.

You need to commit to writing in your Love Journal each night.

Because self-love isn’t something you do for a week or month or a year, and then it’s all taken care of.

Just like if you want to get physically fit, and maintain that fitness, you need to continue to move your body.

And self-love is no different.

We need to continue to exercise our love muscle; to practise feeding ourself loving words of praise and heart-felt reflection.

And for that reason, I really encourage you to not simply do this Love Journal for a few days, a week or perhaps a month.

But to actually make it part of your daily routine.

A practice as important as brushing your teeth before bed.

Let it be a beautiful bedtime ritual you do at the end of your day, that you look forward to.

That allows you to wash away the stresses of the day, so you can go to bed with a clean and clear head.

If you have children, you may like to do it as a group activity.

I often do this with my son.

It’s little rituals like this, that we plant throughout our day, that make the biggest difference, and give us the facilities to be able to grow our self-love more and more.

And because this practice is so quick, it’s really easy to sneak in.

If you find at some point, you’ve misplaced your Love Journal or you’re staying away from home and forgot to take it with you, simply ‘think’ of three things before bed.

Then go back to writing them down again when you return home.

I also find that the Love Journal is a lovely resource to call upon when you’re having a bad day.

If you’re feeling down, or overwhelmed, or indulging in fear-based thinking patterns, pull out your Love Journal and let it be a potent reminder of why you’re so worthy of love.

Sometimes that little reminder is all we need to help lift us out of the negative thinking patterns that cloud how we see ourself.

So we can connect with all we do have.

So how can something so small, be so effective?

Because… it loosens our conditioning.

As you learnt in Episode 2: Programmed for Love, we get taught from a very young age to judge people and things as good and bad, pretty and ugly, right and wrong, good enough and not good enough.

And it’s these fear-based thinking patterns – this conditioning – that gets programmed into our subconscious mind.

Then, because our subconscious mind is responsible for 90% of our thoughts, actions and behaviours, we spend our life playing out this childhood conditioning.

Instead of seeing ourself as whole and complete, gorgeous and intelligent, we feel ‘less than’.

We judge ourself.

Go into comparison.

We engage in activities that don’t serve us.

Yet, by writing down three things we love about ourself each night, we start to re-wire that negative voice.

With repetition, the childhood conditioning begins to loosen.

And what’s really great about the Love Journal, is that anyone can do it.

You don’t need any particular training or education or fancy equipment.

You don’t need to dedicate big chunks of time to it.

All you need is a pen and paper, and the willingness to commit to the practice.

Like when you work out at the gym, the more weights you lift, the stronger the muscles get.

It’s the same with your loving-yourself muscles.

The more often you repeat positive statements, the stronger they become and the more positive you become overall.

If you’re positive, you’re going to be more positive about life, and this’ll be reflected out there in the world.

Even science says that focusing on positive things in our life, and showing gratitude, is good for us.

Like REALLY good for us!

When we shift our focus from fear-based thinking to love-based thinking it puts the body into a state of healing, that contributes to lowering stress, dissolving depression, reducing inflammation in the body, and helping us feel stronger in our decision making.

Many of my clients also report it leads to them receiving more compliments!

And this is because we’re essentially practising being grateful.

The Love Journal is a gratitude practice.

As you learnt in last week’s Episode 29: Could practising gratitude make you a happier person?, when we’re feeling grateful, it’s impossible to feel bad.

Our energy shifts.

And the truth of the matter is, in order to attract in a happy, healthy life, we must live in gratitude.

So if you feel there’s nothing you love about yourself or your life, just open your eyes and look around you.

It’s hard to see the great things in your life when you’re stuck in a negative spiral down, but start with simple things, such as:

‘I love that I have running water.’

‘I love when my dog cuddles into me when I get home from work.’

‘I love the sound of my chimes when the wind blows’

or

‘I love that my bus was on time today’.

While you want to work towards writing down things directly about yourself, this is a really great place to start, if you find this exercise a bit difficult.

Then with practise and commitment, this exercise will become easier and easier, and much more enjoyable.

In fact, if you stick with it – which I hope you do, for there are so many rewards – then you’ll come to LOVE writing in your Love Journal each night.

And in doing so, you’ll have begun the magical process of re-wiring your internal dialogue.

Shifting your perception of yourself, so you can move into a more loving way of journeying through life.

So start simple.

Begin by writing down three things you love about yourself every night.

If you want to plant a field of tulips, you need to start by planting the first one.

Consider this Love Journal as that first seed, being planted into your subconscious; letting your subconscious mind know that you’re ready to grow your self-love, three positive love-statements per day!

Invite the magic of the Love Journal into your life, and simply notice what unfolds!

Now, if you have an intimate relationship with anxiety – if anxiety tends the run the show for you – make sure you listen-in for next week’s episode.

I’ll share a lovely little practice that is guaranteed to get rid of anxiety in 2-minutes flat!

That’s a tool you want in your pocket of self-love.

So be sure to listen in for that one…

And if you’re loving these practices I’m sharing with you on I Love Me The Podcast and want to delve deeper into self-love, a beautiful way to do this is though my Way of Self-Love program.

This three-month online course teaches you the nuts and bolts of how to meditate from a place of loving kindness.

How to fill yourself up with love.

And how to use this practice out in daily living, so that when life gets curly, you have tools, to quickly bring yourself back into a loving state.

If this sounds like the next self-loving step for you, simply visit my website gettingnaked.com.au for all the details.

And know that if you do enrol, a percentage of profits go to planting trees, so together we can re-robe Mother Earth.