So I have a confession to make…
I was a binge eater.
Having grown up a skinny girl who ate what she liked, I was suddenly faced with rapid weight gain in my early 20s, if I so much as looked at food the wrong way.
Food became the enemy.
Yet like the so-called ‘bad boys’, they somehow manage to entice us in, at the same time!
As they say ‘Evil pleasures’.
And so my love hate relationship with food began.
I remember hiding chocolate on the top shelf in the kitchen behind all the boxes and jars of food, so it would be a real hassle to have to get the chair out to reach up and move all the things in the way, just to get to that block of chocolate.
Yet night after night, that’s exactly what I did.
Before I knew it the family size block of chocolate was devoured without a second thought.
By the end of the block I wasn’t even enjoying it!
Then feeling immensely guilty that I’d just shoved my face full of chocolate I’d take laxative teas to get the chocolate out of me.
Realising I could simply flush the food out, I started having these teas regularly.
Then every single time I’d binge eat – which was quite often by now – I’d take a laxative tea.
Even if there was no chocolate in the house, if I couldn’t be bothered walking to the nearest shop, I’d binge eat on cereal.
I’d have one bowl, then another, then another…
Then despite feeling like my stomach would explode if I had any more, I’d go back for one more serving, then one more, until I felt like I just wanted to roll up into a ball and die.
My whole digestive system become completely messed up and I found I couldn’t poop without my laxative tea.
The laxative teas became a crutch.
I took them more and more and before I knew it, I was what was considered ‘bulimic’.
Purging food whether it be out the mouth or out the bum, is forcing the body to do something it doesn’t want to do.
And when you treat the body in such an abusive way, of course your body stops working properly.
Yes. Binge eating – putting more food in the body than it needs – and forcing that food out before the body’s had a chance to process, is abuse!
The bulimia haunted me for much of my 20s – my weight yo-yoing up and down – before I discovered one simple truth….
It was not food I was craving, but LOVE!
When a person binge eats – in fact when a person does anything in excess – it is because that person is craving something.
And that thing they are craving is LOVE!
Yet love is not found in a never-ending bowl of chocolate ice cream or a decadent strawberry cheesecake.
Those things never fill the gap.
You just keep needing MORE.
And then some MORE.
And still the gap remains.
You are never satisfied.
It is not a hunger for food you have, but a hunger for love.
A person who feels satisfied with their life – a person who feels full to the brim with love – has no need to binge eat.
They are full…. Emotionally.
Hence why we call it ‘emotional’ eating.
We turn to food to give us something it can’t possibly deliver us.
And so the cycle continues.
So how do you STOP the cycle?
How do you stop binge eating?
By filling yourself up with LOVE!
You need to undo all the conditioning that has you thinking you need to seek outside of yourself, and start looking inside…
…. for LOVE.
Hence why self-love is such an important tool in healing eating disorders.
When you feel the urge to binge eat, STOP!
Ask yourself: ‘What do I really want? What do I really crave right now?’
What you usually find, if you listen long enough, that you want to feel love.
And perhaps that love will be in the form of a luxurious bath with candles, perhaps that love will be way of leaving the stressful job you’re in and getting a job that you’re passionate about, perhaps that love will be about taking the time to truly get to know YOU and what’s needed for you to feel that love.
Food does not fix the underlying issue of an eating disorder.
Like a pill, it masks it.
Until you go beneath the surface and look at the personal barriers keeping you from letting love into your life, then the binge eating will continue.
Are you ready to look inside and clear the demons creating your eating disorder?
Then I do work with clients one-on-one so you can overcome your eating disorder once and for all.
If you’re ready to give up the food in favour what you’re really craving – love – then I look forward to receiving your email.
Simply email: firstname.lastname@example.org with the subject line: I’M READY TO OVERCOME BINGE EATING!
My history with binge eating isn’t something I’ve talked much about, as I’m usually sharing how I overcame depression, which you can read more about here.
But recently I’ve run into a number of people all struggling with the same thing: Some form of eating disorder.
Emotional eating, binge eating, anorexia, bulimia – whatever name you put on it, it’s the same thing and it comes from the same place.
A lack of perceived love.
Having a healthy relationship with food – where food is your friend – is available to everyone, if they have the right tools and techniques at their disposal.
And I feel blessed to be able to share those tools with YOU!