Last week I talked about using substances, people or things to fill the emptiness so many people in today’s world are familiar with; you may know it as an inner hunger for more.
So in need to turn to an external source to feel some sort of positivity, they seek out louder, bigger or stronger fixes to give them that hit of happy chemicals.
Anything from needing a bigger house with a heftier mortgage to stronger pill – recreational or medical – people keep upping the dose.
The problem is, the more we seek outside of ourselves, the more we require these outside things, and thus begins the negative cycle ofneeding these temporary fixes to maintain this surface fulfillment.
This is how addictions begin.
Perhaps you began with downing just one glass of wine when out to ease the nerves around new people.
Not such a big deal.
Now you need to down the whole bottle (or three) because you never looked at what insecurity had you relying on alcohol to get you through the social gathering.
It’s easy to see why people these days are so addicted to addiction.
We want more sensation, more joy; more of a satisfying experience.
But since so few of us have working Sensation Detection Systems, the natural tendency is to want to add more and more until we can feel something.
Imagine if someone who was starting to lose their hearing kept turning up the volume on their stereo to compensate for not being able to hear.
Pretty soon you’d have the music so loud that the windowpanes would be vibrating and the next-door neighbours would be knocking down the door complaining!
Rather than increasing attention, most people opt to increase the noise.
I see this happen all the time.
Before a person realises it, they have a drug addiction or they’re lying to their family about all the money they’re pumping into the casino.
And when the money runs dry to support their new best friend, who knows what lengths they’ll go to, to kept their friend around.
The problem is, this strategy never works.
No matter what new thing you bring into your life or pop into your body, without cultivating your attention and ability to feel and notice sensation, we will eventually numb to even the most beautiful wonders of everyday life.
Instead, we need to go back to basics.
My suggestion is: Start to notice the subtleties.
Stop needing big, and start seeing the beauty in small.
This happens in sex all the time.
We’re taught faster, harder, instead of retraining the body to feel feather soft caresses.
It’s when the simple things put a smile on your face, you know you have reactivated your ability to feel, naturally.
Still not sure where to start?
Practise mindfully eating a meal, drinking a cup of tea, paying attention to what that person is saying to you; really listening to each word.
When someone touches you, be present to the sensation of human contact.
Let yourself feel everything, from the wind on your face to the curious gaze from the person standing behind you.
Tune into what it feels like to be alive.
If reading this blog has highlighted a personal addiction and you’re ready to live an addiction-free life, take a peek at my One-on-One Intensive where I help people clear out the root cause of addition.