Limiting Beliefs: The Root Cause of Unhappiness
A man is the product of his thoughts; what he thinks he becomes. – Mahatma Ghandhi
This is an old page that is only here for archival purposes. If you would like to read more about how to overcome depression, you can buy a copy of my book The Upside of Down: A personal journey and toolkit for overcoming depression, by clicking here.
We are born into this world naked and exposed. It is the ‘big people’ around us – our parents, teachers and carers – who influence and shape the person we become. Just as we learnt to walk and talk from watching and listening to these people, so too do we learn how to think, act and behave. It is from ages zero to seven that we are programmed how to think and act in this world.
If our parents do not value themselves, or constantly talk themselves down, then we are likely to do the same. They are our role models, after all. This is where our beliefs about ourselves and the world around us are formed. If, for example, you were told that you would never account to anything as a child, chances are you would take this on as fact.
Why? Because children are like sponges, absorbing anything and everything around them. Take on a few too many of these negative statements and all of a sudden you have a child who thinks he or she is ‘Not Good Enough’ or ‘A Failure’. How many times have you heard those words rattle around in your head or even work their way into your conversations with others?
It is this programming as a child that shapes who we become. If we believe we are not good enough, for example, we may go through life giving up on our dreams before we give them a chance, believing they are completely out of reach. You may take the steps to achieve something and, because you feel like a failure, sabotage yourself just before you succeed. Why? Because you believe, unconsciously, that you are a failure. So to be anything other than a failure would go against what you believe about yourself.
Now, you may have noticed that I said you believe this unconsciously. Let me explain. We have our conscious mind: everything that we are consciously aware of. Then we have our subconscious mind, which runs our autonomic nervous system, keeping us breathing and our heart beating. It also stores all our memories, past experiences and limiting beliefs.
So most of the time, because our limiting beliefs are stored in our subconscious mind, we have no idea they even exist. Now, in order to get rid of them, you need to know they are there in the first place. What you also need to know is that our subconscious mind is responsible for 90 percent of our thoughts, actions and behaviours.
If you’re walking around playing a self-critical song over and over in your head like a top 40 song on commercial radio, then it’s time to tune into a new station. You need to get out of your own way in achieving your goal and that’s where removing limiting beliefs becomes an essential part of your growth. Seriously!
So let me ask you: What is your self-limiting soundtrack?
If you’ve got a lot of the icky, limiting beliefs stored down there, chances are you’re going to have a really low self-esteem, plenty of negative mind chatter going on, and, in many cases, depression. This is where self-doubt and mental illnesses come from. It was programmed into you at a young age. But just as easily as it was installed, it can be placed in the trashcan. How?
You need to work with a therapist who practices subconscious mind techniques. They are able to identify and remove the negative beliefs that are fuelling your depression. Once they have been removed, and a positive belief installed, you can no longer experience depression. Why? Because you have cleared out all the gunk that created the depression in the first place.
Of course, it is these negative beliefs that establish other patterns in our life too. If, for example, you had a belief that ‘rich people can’t be trusted’, you would go through life getting rid of money as soon as it came into your hands, because to have money would mean that you weren’t trustworthy. Is that really the truth? Of course not. It is just a belief, and once you get rid of it, you are able to create new beliefs that allow you to have and keep money without feeling guilty.
So if you take nothing else from this happiness guide, please recognise the importance of removing your limiting beliefs. While everything else in this guide will support you in overcoming depression or simply getting happy, in order to get to the root cause, so the negative mind trash doesn’t come back, you must remove the beliefs that are causing you the pain and brain fog characteristic of an unhappy person.
When you tune in and remove beliefs regularly the sharp angles soften. As this happens you experience more ease and flow, opening you up to a fully pleasurable and happy existence. Life becomes your teacher, with the lessons gathered deepening your connection to self.
CASE STUDY: Tess Judd, 22-years-old, Paramedic Intern, Adelaide.
If someone had told me five months ago that I could be free from the debilitating illness of depression within four months, I would have shrugged them off in disbelief and continued to mope at my friend’s table, sipping away on a cup of coffee in silence. I first noticed myself struggling and fighting the black dog when I was 18 years old.
I thought it was just the way of life, you know, the way things were meant to be. It wasn’t until my closest friend and mentor sat me down at her kitchen table and suggested that I see a psychologist that I first realised it wasn’t normal to feel that alone, empty, hurt, frustrated and angry to the point that I would shut myself away from the outside world.
Seeking such help from health professionals took all my courage and effort, especially when, time after time, I walked away feeling no better off. Yes, the antidepressants that I was prescribed helped me accept I was suffering with depression, however, I found that it just added a Band-Aid effect to my true emotions and simply covered up the root cause of it all.
I would attend my psychologist appointments only to walk away in frustration. I found myself discussing my daily concerns and worries, and while that made me feel at ease for a few days, after a week or two I would relapse into the depression. As hard as I tried, I couldn’t seem to reveal or understand the underlying root cause of my emotions that were contributing to my depressive moods.
Five months ago, I was at my lowest of lows, not able to see anything positive in my life, questioning whether or not life was even worth living. When does the time come that you just call it quits and give up on finding help; give up on fighting this illness? Give up on life? But one simple phone call, unknowingly, would change my life forever.
That one phone call involved the recommendation to pick up this book, The Upside of Down, which started to develop a glimmer of hope in me and made me realise that YOU can overcome this debilitating illness of depression. The only thing that encouraged me to continue on with life was the hope that this book gave me and the opportunity I was given to undertake Naked Therapy.
Naked Therapy was my last resort. I had nothing to lose and there was only one way things could go and that was UP! So I simply arranged to undertake the five-month program with Tamra, designed to get you depression- and pill-free..
Within the first session, I noticed immediate differences within my thinking patterns; my attitude towards life and my motivation improved astonishingly. Within five sessions, I was revisiting my GP to come off of my antidepressants and by my eighth session, I was depression- and pill-FREE.
I was, and still am, speechless at the extent that Tamra’s techniques – that deal with the subconscious mind – addressed the root cause of the depression. No longer did I have that Band-Aid effect when seeking help, I was now addressing the root cause, eliminating any self-doubt and implementing instantaneous changes to my internal thinking processes. Undertaking this form of therapy continued to push me above and beyond my abilities, growing and developing a cemented self-belief, confidence and positivity towards life.
I now have the strength to conquer anything; I now see each and every opportunity in life as a gift and a challenge to shine brightly and prove just how amazing we are as individuals. I am no longer ashamed or wish I never had depression; I now see it as a gift, a gift that enabled me to really discover who I am as a human being, to really explore how amazing and awesome we are if we have a strong and positive relationship with ourselves. This program changed my life.
I think actions speak louder than words. I became depression-free and pill-free within four months of commencing these sessions with Tamra. It hasn’t been an easy journey but the end result of becoming depression-free and HAPPY is priceless. I am a totally different person, for which I am seriously speechless. It feels surreal, like I’m living in a dream. I feel like I need to pinch myself to wake up. THANK YOU SO SOOOOO MUCH!
Ready to clear out those limiting beliefs and live a happier life?
We have two offerings: You can work with a therapist one-on-one or you can complete our 9-week Remarkable Relationships course and learn how to remove the beliefs yourself. Simply visit the website for more information.
Chapter from
The Upside of Down: A personal journey and toolkit for overcoming depression
by Tamra Mercieca