Imagine your mind, for a moment, as a busy street… with thoughts zooming by like cars on a 6-lane highway. Some cars drive past multiple times a day, maybe even multiple times per minute… while others run into us at full speed, knocking us into a state of emotional turmoil, reactivity and anxiety.
These cars represent our thoughts, emotions and programmed beliefs; they clutter up our mind and get in the way of us enjoying life.
But what if we could slow down the traffic? What if we would notice these cars driving by, without them blowing fumes in our face?
Today on I Love Me The Podcast, we learn how meditation can offer us a beautiful way of observing this mental traffic, without getting dragged along for the ride.
If you’re struggling with a busy mind and are ready to stop chasing cars so you can embrace the serenity of the present moment… then sit back and relax, so we can go on this journey, together.
I first learnt to meditate over 20 years ago, when I was seeking answers, trying to figure out how to NOT be depressed.
I had a lot of self-hate going on back in those days – I share my journey out of depression in episode 32 – and meditation was a way of noticing those negative thinking patterns, so they no longer influenced how I felt about myself and as a result, how I treated myself.
Over the years my meditation practice, while not always a daily companion, has evolved, and become a practice I now use daily because I know that whatever’s going on in my life, can be brought back into a loving perspective, when I meditate.
So for me, meditation is a gift.
A gift of love, to myself.
Not something I do because I have to, but something I do because I want to.
Because I want to feel closer to who I truely am, beneath the conditioning of my mind.
If you’ve been curious about meditation, had an on-again off-again relationship with meditation over the years, or want to journey deeper into a practice that can support you and help lift you out of your darkest moments, then I believe meditation is certainly worth your time and exploration.
So let’s begin by defining what meditation is, because unfortunately, there are a few misconceptions out there, that make people think meditation is hard, or simply not for them.
So what is meditation?
For me…
Meditation is where we offer ourselves a chance to sit with ourself.
To be with ourself.
Without any external distractors.
Simply time and space to be in our own company, so we can observe our thoughts, get to know ourself a little more intimately, and start to feel at home in who we are.
What are we ‘doing’ when we meditate?
We’re offering ourselves presence.
And you don’t need to sit in a rigid cross-legged position to meditate, if this doesn’t feel good in your body.
I rarely meditate in this posture.
My body is comfortable sitting cross-legged and I do it a lot when I work…
But for me, I feel I can become more present with myself when I’m lying down, head lifted on a folded blanket, feet flat out the floor, with knees reaching toward the sky.
This is what I call Base Position in my Yoga for the Vagina program, or what others refer to as semi-supine or Constructive Rest.
And I come into this posture because it invites the whole body to ‘let go’.
So as my physical body is releasing tension, my mind can mirror this and release thoughts more easily.
The thing I really want you to know here, is that:
There is no ‘right’ posture to meditate in, only the right posture for you.
And that’s where you need to take time to find a posture that feels good in your body.
If you tend to fall asleep when lying down to meditate, then a more upright posture would be better for you.
If your hips are tight, maybe try meditating in a firm chair, feet flat on the floor, lifted heart, hands resting on your thighs…
There are so many options, and I share more that I personally recommend to my clients in my Way of Self-Love course.
Aside from the meditation posture being one of the deterrents of meditating…
Many people have been led to believe that to meditate it to ‘not think’.
Yet, this is rarely the experience for most meditators, especially when you first start out.
There is no need to stop your thoughts.
To begin a meditation practice, is to simply come into a place where you won’t be disturbed, adopt a posture that feels good for you, and begin the process of noticing your thoughts.
Instead of going about life, letting our thoughts dictate our every move, we use meditation to become aware of our thoughts.
We all fall into patterns of mundane reactions to the thoughts that arise from our programming.
So instead of acting on our thoughts, and letting our thoughts control us..
Meditation teaches us to become an observer of our thoughts.
From there, we can consciously choose how to respond to our thoughts, as opposed to letting them run the show, that is our life.
In this way, when we cultivate a regular meditation practice, our thoughts begin to have less influence over us.
As we become more aware of our thoughts, and learn that we are NOT our thoughts, we’re able to choose our life path with more ease.
Instead of chasing every car that drives by, we sit… and watch it.
We notice.
To quote my favourite band Snow Patrol, we realise that we no longer need to be ‘chasing cars around our heads’.
Instead…
We start to lose our attachment to these cars, these thoughts!
And as this happens they lose their power over us.
We recognise them for what they are, simply thoughts.
Instead of our thoughts directing us into unconscious actions and reactions and decisions, we can step back from this programming, and start to make decisions and take actions that are more aligned with our truth.
In this way, meditation helps us step off the busy highway of thoughts…
When we don’t have cars racing past us at high speed, we no longer need to be on alert.
We can calm down long enough to come back into alignment with ourselves.
To reconnect with our True Self.
The self that was born, happy and whole and free.
The self that is here to experience joy and creativity and expansion and abundance.
And with time and patience and practice, we can even start to loosen those negative, unkind thoughts that arise from our programming, and start to adopt more positive, kind thoughts.
Imagine that!
Not having to deal with negative thoughts all the time!
Instead, being able to enjoy a slower pace, where the thoughts that do pass by, are of a more positive nature.
Thoughts that are supportive of you and what you do in life.
Meditation also reminds us to breathe.
Most meditation practices have some kind of focus on breathing.
And this is because we can use the breath to anchor us in the present moment.
When a thought comes in, all we need to do is refocus on the breath, and we come back into presence.
The breath really is the quickest way to get us out of our head and back into our body.
Into the present moment.
So in meditation we use the breath to invite us into a state of calm.
Given that most people don’t breathe well – only breathing well enough to survive, not thrive – having a practice that allows us to reconnect with our breath, is so beneficial.
One of the main ways we nourish and feed our physical body, is through the breath.
Oxygen is a necessary fuel for our body, just like food.
If we starve ourselves of plentiful breath, then our body suffers, and our mental health suffers.
All you need to do is take a few minutes to focus on taking slow deep breathes, and you’ll feel the difference.
You’ll feel more calm and more at peace.
From a purely physiological perspective, breathing well, takes the body out of it’s fight-or-flight mode, which when left on for long lengths of times, drains our health…
So when we take time to breathe well… we return our body to it’s natural resting state where healing can occur.
Now I mentioned when we take our focus to our breath, we come into presence.
And that is the other gift of meditation.
Coming into presence.
We can only experience depression when we’re living in the past and we can only experience fear states such as anxiety and overwhelm, when we’re living in the future.
So in meditating, we’re bringing ourselves back to the present moment, where we’re free of mental states that have us chasing our tails and indulging in stress states.
When we meditate, we come into the now.
We connect with the calm presence within.
And this not only feels like a much needed balm amid the chaos of life, it invites our nervous system to relax.
When our nervous system is in a state of ease, our body can activate healing in our body.
This is why – like I discussed in last week’s episode – we’re more prone to getting sick, if we’re stressed, overwhelmed, or living in fear states all the time.
Our body is so activated, that it doesn’t have the energy it needs to do the healing work our body requires on a daily basis.
Not only that, when we’re not being present, we’re essentially missing out on life!
We’re living out the past or we’re stuck in the future.
We’re not here, in the now.
And it’s only in the here and now that real joy and pleasure can be felt.
We’ve all done it…
We go for a walk, but our mind is too busy replaying that awful conversation we had with our colleague, or being triggered by the neighbour that keeps doing things to annoy you…
Instead of enjoying the Autumn leaves as they’re falling to the ground, breathing in the fresh air, feeling the gentle pleasure of being alive, we’re off in your head living out the past, or imagining a worst case scenario future for ourself.
When we meditate, we learn how to drop the resentment, the bitterness, the ill feelings, the losses of the past… and instead enjoy what we have, in the here and now.
The mind loves to fixate on the past or the future.
But this kind of thinking only drains our energy, and gets in the way of us experiencing the magic of the moment.
We need to remember that:
The past is to learn from, and the future is to inspire us forth, so that we can take action in the now.
So we live in the here and now of today, this moment.
That’s where we can enjoy happiness…
That’s where we have access to our creativity, our joy.
To get stuck in past events or possible future scenarios, is to rob us of the very beautiful opportunity we have to enjoy life.
So that’s why we meditate.
Because it helps us live in the joy of the present moment, it helps our body return to a healing state, it helps us breathe well… and most importantly, it helps us become acutely aware of our programmed thoughts, so they have less hold over us.
So we’re able to make life decisions that serve us.
So we can cultivate relationships that nourish us, and feel good.
So we can live a wonderful, vibrant life.
What I do want to highlight is that we don’t meditate to get good at meditation.
We meditate, to get good at life.
To experience a life that feels magical.
I could rattle off a whole episode worth of reasons why meditation is good for us, like how it can help us sleep better, lose weight, boost our immune system, ease chronic pain…
How it makes us less reactive… so we can make better choices for ourself, when we’re not caught up in a traffic jam of thoughts…
I could go on and on…
There are plenty of studies that will show you all that…
But I want to leave you to discover for yourself, how meditating can change your life.
Because if you do it regularly, it will.
For meditation is cumulative.
What I mean by that is that while one meditation practice may offer you some relief, or not.
Daily meditation is where the magic is.
It’s like working out at the gym.
One big weights session may make you feel good – or sore – in the moment.
But it rarely builds significant muscle, if it’s not consistent.
Same goes with meditating.
When we work out at the gym, a little each day, over time, you start to feel better physically, and often mentally too, you start to see your strength increasing, and your body changing shape.
And as you continue to go, you continue to feel good.
This is essentially how it works with meditation.
If you meditate daily for a month, even if it’s just 5 minutes a day, you’ll definitely notice the effects.
Now, like I said….
Meditating needn’t be difficult.
While there are many different ways to meditate.
Start simply.
Come into a place that feels comfortable in your body, close your eyes, if that feels good for you.
And breathe.
Notice the rise and fall of the inhalations and exhalations.
As thoughts come in, notice them, as if they were cars simply driving past.
And then let them drive on by.
If you find yourself getting caught up in a thought; if it steals you away from your practice, simply refocus your mind on your breath.
If you need to do this 100 times or more in a practice, then that was exactly what you needed in that practice.
That was a successful practice.
The purpose of meditation is not to have a clear mind – although this may happen with consistent practice – but the real purpose… to come into awareness of your mind’s thoughts.
To notice.
To be witness to thoughts that fill your mind on a day-to-day, moment-by-moment basis.
And to allow that to be your insight into who you are, and what’s going on for you…
So you can love yourself in spite of those thoughts.
Knowing those thoughts are not you.
There’re simply programmed beliefs, that are feeding you thoughts…
And as we discussed in Episode 2 Programmed for Love, those thoughts can be changed.
So start there.
Begin with 5 minutes a day if you can.
2-minutes if 5-minutes feels too much of a stretch.
And next week, we’ll look at how to overcome the belief of not having enough ‘time’ for a meditation practice.
Not having enough time for self-love.
So make sure you make time for that one!
But this week, try it on.
2-minutes.
Meditate for just 2 minutes.
2-minute every day.
Let the practice be what it needs to be for you.
Drop the judgement on what you ‘think’ it should look or feel like, and just meditate.
And then if you want to go deeper into the magic of meditation, so you can reap the benefits of a longer practice, a practice focused on activating the love within…
… then I invite you to explore a program I created called The Way of Self-Love.
This 3-month online course teaches you how to meditate from a place of love, fill yourself up with love, so you can feel that love within you, and then use this practice in everyday living.
Yes, when life triggers you in some way, sends you into a negative spiral of overwhelm or fear, you can use this practice to reconnect you with the love within, so you can easily calm the anxious feelings in your body, and return to a state of peace.
From there you can respond to life’s events from a clearer, more centred space.
For me, this is a life skill, that could serve all of us.
Offering us the tools we need to navigate life in an easeful, enjoyable way.
And please know this program isn’t just a course teaching you to meditate.
With lessons on how to love yourself more, this program will guide you on how to live more authentically, so you can enjoy a deeply satisfying and fulfilling life.
Thanks for listening… and please know if you do enrol in The Way of Self-Love or any of my programs, that a percentage of profits go to planting trees, so together, we can re-robe Mother Earth.