Step 2: Learn to ‘Date Yourself’

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How much energy and time do you put into your relationships with others? Think about that for a moment…

Now ask yourself: How much time and energy do I invest in myself?

If you’re someone who spends plenty of quality time on your own (and I’m talking at least a couple of nights a week), indulging in all your passions and hobbies, then you can move on to Step 3. But if you gawk at the idea of spending time alone or can’t remember the last time you pampered yourself properly, then this step is vital if you’re serious about attracting in a rich romantic relationship.

You see, nurturing your relationship with YOU is the key to creating a nurturing relationship with someone else. By investing time and energy in yourself, you’re saying to the world, that you’re worthy of love and affection. You’re setting a precedent for how you wish to be treated. You’re letting people know you value yourself and deserve respect.



If, on the other hand, you neglect yourself, putting other’s needs before your own, failing to really connect with who you are, that’s how you’ll be treated when you do meet someone. If you are always busy with no time for you, how will you have time for a romantic partner? You need to create the space required to allow them in. So how do you look after your most valuable relationship: The relationship you have with YOU? The easiest way is to date yourself!

OK. I can hear you laughing. But taking yourself on a date isn’t as silly as it may sound. Dating yourself, as I discovered myself, is a very insightful experience. It allows you to notice any insecurities or annoying habits you may have. Once you have this awareness, you’re in a position to make changes, so you can know with certainty that you would be a phenomenal person to date. If you’re willing to go there, dating yourself can be a real eye-opener.

Not only will dating yourself give you the information required to be the person on your Perfect Partner list, it will help you give yourself all that you deserve. We pour so much love, energy and time into other people, but how much do you give yourself? When was the last time you bought yourself a bunch of flowers or went for a hit of golf… just because?

Consider the last time you went up in a plane. Remember the safety check at the start of the flight? In the case of an emergency, you were probably told to put the oxygen mask on yourself before helping anyone else. Why is that? Because you are no good to anyone else, unless you’re breathing. Well the same goes for self-love. You cannot give love to anyone else, unless you are giving it to yourself first.

So, how do you date YOU? Easy. Think of something you love to do. Or even better, plan to do something you have never done before. Be adventurous. Think outside the box. Come on, get creative.

Put the date in your diary, as you would a date with someone else. Make it a priority. This is about you putting yourself first; giving yourself love. And don’t think that’s selfish.

So you’re on your date. How’s it going for you? Are you enjoying yourself? Or are you bored out of your brain. If you’re bored, why is that? Is that something you need to work on? How could you make yourself more interesting? What would you need to change about yourself in order to be that inspiring passionate person you would love to date? Who would keep you enthralled for the entirety of your time together, so much, that you’re lining up the next date, before this one’s even ended?

Are you convinced yet? If not, then ask yourself, what’s stopping you from giving it a go? What puts you off spending time with you? Are you scared of what you might discover? Don’t be. Awareness is the first step. Once we know our improvement areas, we’re able to make small adjustments to who we are (once you know your not so lovable attributes you can use Step 3 to make the necessary changes) It is only those people who refuse to look at themselves, pimples and all, who fail themselves.

Your task this week: Take yourself on a date. That’s right. Plan something special for the most important person in your life: YOU! Don’t skimp on the trimmings. Go all out. Spoil yourself as you would a lover. Put in as much effort as you would, if you were trying to impress a first date. Be the dater and the datee, all rolled into one. It is only when you can date you, and truly love the experience, that you are able to really understand your own worth.

Once you’ve gone on your date, grab a notepad and write about your experience. What came up for you?

Now don’t stop there. You’ve had a taste of what’s like to date yourself, now I want you to act as if you are in a relationship with yourself and continue dating yourself. Shower yourself with the love and affection you would pour upon your future partner. I did this for six months and then my beautiful, sexy and wonderfully kind Prince rode on in in her Toyota Starlet!

Give yourself the attention you would receive from a lover. Be in the most amazing relationship with yourself.

Stuck for ideas?

  • Buy yourself a bunch of flowers. The gift is in the giving as much as the receiving, so spoil yourself as you would a lover.
  • Send yourself a Love Card telling yourself how wonderful and amazing you are. Words of affirmation speak louder when they’re written down.
  • Book yourself in for a massage. Physical touch, even when it’s not sexual, is nurturing for the soul.

Task: Brainstorm your own ideas now on a notepad

During this period of dating yourself, you also need to be clearing out past hurts, insecurities that have you worrying what others think of you, and any subconscious blockages that are stopping you getting that dream relationship. How do you clear out the gunk? Tomorrow’s step will explain how..

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