Rewriting Your Money Story
This article appeared in the May 2021 issue of Era Magazine, for women in business www.eramagazine.com.au
Here is the text from the article if you’re having trouble reading the image….
Rewriting Your Money Story
We all have a money story. Some people’s money stories are full of abundance, with the lead characters feeling good about earning money, having money and spending money. These people have ease and certainty around money, trusting that money will always be there for them. While other people’s money stories are well… more like romantic tragedies. Think struggle-ville, stress and emotional spending.
Can you relate to the latter? Well, here’s the thing: Money wants to support you. Money wants to ride on into your life, in abundance. Money wants to show up for you, and most importantly, money wants to commit to you and offer you the support and financial security you so deserve. But in order for this to happen, you need to be willing to look at what you currently believe about money. For that really is the key to rewriting your money story.
Until you’re willing to re-evaluate your preconceived ideas and beliefs around money, then chances are that money will be a point of stress in your life. If you feel like there’s never enough money or that you’re working hard but never reaching your financial goals, if you avoid looking at your bank statements, feel ashamed about talking about money or guilty when you spend it, if debt rains on your joy-parade or you fight with your partner about money, then you know that you’re holding onto some unhealthy beliefs about money.
Your beliefs = Your reality
Yep! What you believe about yourself, what you believe about the world, and what you believe about money is creating your physical reality right now. Let me give you an example…
When we’re getting to know a new person, it’s almost impossible not to make up ideas about who we think they are, what they value, how they treat others and what they’re like to be around. Maybe this person told you they were a doctor, which instantly made you assume they’re intelligent, they earn good money and they’re a secure person to be with. Or maybe, due to your upbringing, and having met a doctor or three, you think ‘Oh this person is way too boring or straight for me’.
Before we’ve had a chance to really get to know the person, we already ‘think’ we know them, because our mind has created an imaginary person in our head, based on our existing beliefs. And then we project these ideas of who we ‘think’ they are, onto them.
If for example, when this person said to you ‘I’m a doctor’ if your initial thought was ‘This person is totally out of my league, they’ll never go for me’ then you might start unconsciously acting disinterested or saying and doing things that sabotage your connection with that person, and as a result, this person stops calling. It’s not that this person was actually out of your league – no one is out of your league – this person did a runner, because you started acting weird or aloft, due to your beliefs about doctors.
This is how powerful we are in creating the experience we have with other people. It’s also how powerful we are in creating the experience we have with money. If you believe things about money that are of a negative nature, money will reflect this right back at you. In this sense, your experience with money is an exact mirror image of the beliefs you hold about it.
The thing is, money is not ‘good’ or ‘bad’ or ‘available’ or not ‘available’; it only shows up this way for us, because of our beliefs about it. Beliefs that have been directly handed down to us from our parents and carers, who received the beliefs from their parents and carers. Unfortunately, however, what most people believe about money, is not true.
These beliefs have nothing to do with money and everything to do with our past. What our parents said to us about money, how they acted around money; these are all demonstrations of their beliefs. And as children, we are very impressionable. We learn very quickly, and we learn best from the people we spend the most time with. What we learn, is not always helpful. In fact, many of the beliefs you will have adopted from your parents, will be causing you pain in one or more areas of your life.
Now this is not a reason to get angry at your parents for handing down dodgy beliefs that have tainted your experiences with money. I share this information so you know why you’re having difficulties with money, so you can change the beliefs, and thus, rewrite your money story into a love story.
How do beliefs work?
We have thoughts. We all have thoughts. LOTS of them, pretty much all of the time. These thoughts create specific feelings in our body. Those feeling inspire us to take certain actions or make specific decisions. It’s these actions and decisions that lead to the results we get in life. What then creates our thoughts? Our beliefs.
The beliefs we hold about ourself, the world and money. See the connection. Our beliefs have this domino effect, that contribute to us experiencing ease around money and being wealthy or they can contribute to us experiencing scarcity, lack, never quite having enough. Being super stressed about money all the time.
All you need to do is look at your current financial situation – the current results you’re getting around money – and that will let you know if you’re holding onto some limiting money beliefs. Yes, our external experience of life is a dollar-for-dollar reflection of our internal world. What this means, is that if for example you believe that ‘Money is hard to come by’ then that’s exactly what you’ll experience. You’re not experiencing it because it’s the truth, you’re experiencing it because that’s what you believe.
There are a-million-and-one possible ways money can come to you at any given moment, but it you whole-heatedly believe that money is hard to come by, then you won’t see the opportunities to allow in that money. And if by chance you did see a money-making opportunity, if you believe that you’re not worthy of receiving, then you’d pass it off as something that was out of your reach. This is how our feelings inform our decisions, and result in our outcomes.
So you can see how your relationship with money – and the exact figures you have, or don’t have right now – can be directly tracked back to your beliefs. If you want to change your financial situation – and how you feel about your financial situation – then you need to go to the root cause, right? The root cause being your beliefs. That’s where the money problems all began. Yes, it’s your beliefs that script your money story.
Sure, you can track your money each month, you can work longer hours to try and earn more, you can set up a savings account, you can invest in the stock-market; you can do all of these physical things. Many of them are great actions to do. But if you’re holding onto unhealthy money beliefs, then no matter what physical actions you take around your money, you’ll manage to sabotage yourself time and time again.
This is because in order to be a match for money – so money comes into your life in abundant supply – you need to believe positive things about money. You can’t become a money magnet if you have beliefs that go against having money. Believe money is scarce and that will be your experience. Believe you’re not worthy of charging for your services, and you will never get paid for what you do.
What’s great about all this though, is that you have the power to change those beliefs, and thus, change your reality. Yes, you can rewrite your money story so you have more money. And you can attract in more money in an honest and authentic way that serves the greater good! There are always unseen ways that we can create or attract in abundance. Nothing is capped. The only problem is your belief that your earning potential is capped; not the job, not the employer, not the state of the economy. If you believe these kinds of things, you were simply misinformed as a child.
Money beliefs that block out abundance
There are stacks of money beliefs that cramp our money-making style, but one of the common doozies is: ‘It’s not ok to have money’. Even if you don’t think you feel this way, this view is so pervasive in our culture that you could experience its effects without even realising it. Most people will not allow themselves to be prosperous because deep in their core they’ve been programmed to believe that having money will make them greedy or corrupt or evil.
Sure, some rich people are greedy and corrupt and you might consider them evil, just as some poor people are greedy and corrupt. It’s not money that makes people this way. They were that way before they got rich. Money creates more of what you already are. Money may show you a person’s true colours but it doesn’t change that person. If you’re a good person with good intentions, then money will help you do even more good in the world. When a generous, loving person gets rich, they become more generous.
It’s far easier to show up and be of service to the world if you’re not worrying about paying your rent or mortgage and putting food on the table. You can use that energy to help others. Yes, having money – and plenty of it – frees your mind so you can live your purpose. Look at Oprah. She’s one of the richest women on the planet, and she’s changed millions of lives. But she wouldn’t have been able to have such a huge positive impact if she’d stayed poor like she was brought up.
If you’re a good person, who genuinely wants to create good in the world, then you having money just means you’ll be able to do that in a bigger way with more ease. Let me say that again: Money simply amplifies what you already have going on. Money doesn’t make you good or bad. It doesn’t have that power over you. It’s just a resource. A tool that can be used for good or bad, depending on the person’s intentions. A hammer works in much the same way. You can hit someone over the head with it, or you can use it to build a house and shelter people.
Which leads me onto a sister belief: ’I will become less spiritual by having money’. Somehow, somewhere along the way, many of us got the memo that it’s not spiritual to be rich, especially if you’re a moral, spiritual, service-oriented person. There’s a cultural thought virus that tells us that if we want to be a good person we must sacrifice our own needs for the needs of others.
But there’s a major flaw in this way of thinking. The universe is abundant. A part of being spiritual is tapping into all of the beautiful qualities available to us, including abundance. There are hundreds of trillions of dollars in the economy. What that means, is that there is more than enough money for everyone who is willing to receive money into their lives.
You having more money doesn’t prevent anyone else from having it. This is scarcity thinking that’s based in fear. The fact is, when you have more money, it means you have more to share with others and you can be a positive role model for others where you inspire them into a healthy relationship with money. A relationship with money where they feel confident to invest in their business venture, or pursue a career that perhaps in the past, they’ve been too scared to explore.
You having money is a win-win for everyone involved. You can make a much greater and more sustainable contribution to other’s health, happiness and prosperity when you have enough of these things in your own life to have surplus to give to others. When we sacrifice our own well-being in the hopes that our sacrifice will help someone else, we just get two broke people.
If we look at health, one person getting sick doesn’t help others suffering with illness. Being sad doesn’t help pull someone else out of depression. Losing all your money doesn’t help people in poverty. And being hungry doesn’t help feed the starving. If you want to help people, you need to help yourself first, so you have more to give. And having money means you can give more. It’s like oxygen in the universe. By taking a big inhale you’re not depriving the next person of a full breath.
Next doozy belief? ‘Money’s not important’. Now people who say money’s not important tend to follow this up with statements like ‘Oh my health is more important than money.’ But this isn’t an either or situation. You can have both. You don’t say ‘Oh my arm is more important than my leg.’ You accept that you can have both and they both play important roles in your life. So it is with money. You can have money and great health and love, and whatever else you want, if you’re super clear on why you want it.
All of these things are important. And money is important, because we live in a world where money is the main form of exchange. Just as the air we breath is a resource we require to live in this physical world, so too is money. If you believe money is not important, then the simple truth is, you won’t have much of it.
So it goes without saying, if you want money to support you, you want to release beliefs like ‘I only need enough money to get by’. While that may be the case, you are not here to just get by. You are here to thrive. By believing you only need enough to get by, you’re essentially rejecting money. Rejecting the full, abundance of who you are, and in doing so, stopping money flow.
Let’s go back to the breath. If there was limited supply, your cells wouldn’t get oxygenated properly, as you’d be constantly shallow breathing, thus impacting the quality of your life. It’s same with Money. Why limit it to just enough, when there is more than enough, more than enough for you to have an abundant supply of it.
Let’s look at one more belief: ‘I’m a failure.’ If you believe you’re a failure, that nothing seems to go your way, no matter how hard you try, this will be reflected in your relationship with money. If you’re worried about being disappointed by your efforts not bearing fruit, don’t be. When we give something a go, we either get the result we want, or we get a lesson. If we pay attention to the lesson, then it will help guide us to the results we want.
So in that way, you can never fail. You’ll either get the results you want around money or you’ll get super valuable lessons that are all designed to help you get closer to the results you want. Maybe a project fell on its head. Maybe you lost a lot of money in that process. Great! This has shown you what not to do, next time you take on a similar project. These kinds of learnings are gold!
You know all the people who make a lot of money? They didn’t get there by giving up. They got there by falling over, stumbling, tripping up LOTS of times, and then finally figuring out the perfect way to make things work for them. Like a child learning to walk, they need to fall over numerous times, before they comfortably find their stride. It’s the same with money. It’s a learning process. The only way you can lose out, is if you don’t try in the first place. Any action is better than no action at all. Because remember, you’ll either get the result you want, or get a learning to help you get the result you want.
Money is not the problem, your beliefs are.
Believing in lack or limitation is what limits us and our earning potential. If you want to transform your relationship with money – so that you feel good about money and money flows into your life in one continuous, easeful stream – then you need to be willing to let go of what you previously believed about money. And that starts with kindly questioning what you currently believe about money.
As hard as your mind will try to justify and cling onto these old beliefs, know that anything that makes you feel fearful or constricted around money or life, is not serving you. Releasing these beliefs is important, not only because they hurt you and hold you back in life, it’s important because they’re not true. These beliefs are essentially errors in the script of your money story, that prevent you from living happily right now.
The kinds of beliefs you want to adopt around money, are ones that are based in love and make you feel expansive. Beliefs like ‘There is always more than enough for me’, ‘There is plenty more where that came from’, ‘I am worthy of living an abundant love-rich life’, ‘Life is full of abundant possibilities’, ‘Money flows to me from anywhere and everywhere’, ‘I serve therefore I deserve’ or come up with your own. Try them on and see how they feel in your body.
The truth is, money wants to be there for you, in abundance! But in order for that to happen, you need to be willing to take a radically new approach to how you treat money. You need to be willing to stop hating on money and start treating it the way you would treat something you truly valued and respected. If you do this, you’ll start to realise that money isn’t he baddy you may have perceived it as before, but simply a reflection of what you believe about it. Change what you believe about money, and you can rewrite the script of your money story into the love story that you are so worthy of starring in!
Listen to the FREE Money Magnetism meditation and learn how to rewrite your money story at www.gettingnaked.com.au/money-and-me/