Do rules lead to nourishing experiences or do they disassociate us? This is a question I pondered while visiting Bali last week. My first visit to the busy tourist island was an eye-opener in more ways than one could imagine. Lets begin with the roads. Rules are thrown to the curb in favour of interactive driving.

What you soon realise is that cars and bikes swerving in front of you is not something to get flustered about; it’s a normal part of sharing the road in Bali. Traffic lights are generally seen as a ‘suggestion’ rather than a strict rule. And when it comes to changing lanes make sure you beep that horn, rather than use the indicator – that's reserved for actually turning corners.

Most roads aren’t much wider than would fit a single vehicle despite these streets being two-way, so courteously sharing the road is an absolute must on the roads. Congestion is expected. It’s the way of the roads, explaining why drivers have an air of patient friendliness no matter what the traffic conditions.

I’ve come into contact with a lot of ladies lately who are desperate for that big (and expensive) shiny ring on their magical finger. So it got me wondering: Why so much pressure to lock a man down and enter a contract for life? Because that’s essentially what it is. A contract. A contract stopping you from leaving this person. Some men may even call it a ‘trap’!

Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for marriage. It’s the motivation you have to get married that holds the key to whether that union will be positive or negative. Through my years as a Relationship Therapist is has become apparent that most people believe marriage will give them something they don’t yet have. Commitment, societal acceptance, maybe some household appliances? The thing is, nothing changes between the two people when they are married.

A healthy couple is one that is committed to each other and in love regardless of a piece of paper. Now I’m not saying don't get married. What lady doesn’t want to be a Princess for a day and wear a big poufy dress? What I am saying, is don’t rely on the ‘marriage’ to be the thing that seals the relationship.

We all want to feel happy, loved… hell… we want to have fun, positive experiences, yeah? Some people try to reach those happy states of being by booking in for an extravagant holiday, others let a Hollywood movie deliver them that cliché ‘happily ever after’. But where are those real happy (warm and fuzzy inside) feelings to be found? In the people, not the activities.

Whether it’s cleaning the house or playing a game of footy, the interactions you have with the person you are doing it with, make all the difference. With the right company a mundane chore can become a great bonding experience – a time to laugh and really connect with another human. How many times have you been doing something you absolutely love, only to feel disappointed because the person you were with put a dampener on the day?

The activities we engage in are only a teensy part of what fuels our overall happiness. It’s the interactions we have with others that leave us feeling nourished and fulfilled on all levels. You could be cleaning pig dung off your shoes and have a jolly time, because of the interactions that experience creates for the two of you. Yes, really!

Have you ever stretched yourself? Not in the physical way a dancer or a keen yoga student might, but in the way that helps you break through personal barriers so you can experience a life far richer than you have in the past? Stretching yourself mentally helps you turn your life into a fairytale adventure where you live your ‘happily ever after’ daily.

Just as the body is pliable – we see this when someone stretches the body on a regular basis, they get more flexible, more able to contort their body into strange yet inspiring shapes. Sure, it takes time and patience and the commitment to moving through each layer of resistance. But stay with it, despite the pains and challenges, and before you know it, you’re doing the splits (and so much more!).

So now lets apply this concept to our mind. You see our mind is no different to our body. The two are interconnected. The more you stretch yourself – your abilities, your knowledge and your imagination – the more you step into your true self, without all the conditioning that holds many people back.